Do you ever have one of those times when you look at yourself and realize maybe you're not such a great person after all? Had one of those today. My brother loves chess and he got a weird four-way chess board game. (Works like this, but his is much prettier.) I am not good at chess because I lack the ability to think holistically. I can pretty much think about only one, maybe two pieces at a time, which is the best way to fail at chess that I know of. But I sat down and played for the sake of family togetherness and because he was excited to try his new toy (just as I was excited to read my book... which had been my plan). About twenty minutes in, he had me down to about six pawns, my king, a rook, a bishop, and a knight, and he kept coming after me, and I was beginning to lose patience. I then surrendered because I was sick of sitting there losing etc etc etc youchi de makezu girai (for the last time when will you get it into your head that that phrase was applied to Kira first). And my sisters thought this was ridiculous and accused me of getting "pissed off because I suck at chess." I responded that I was not pissed off because I sucked at chess, I did not play chess because I sucked at chess. And then I went upstairs and pouted.
Pouted, rationalized, made a holier-than-thou face and imagined a conversation in which I asked people to watch Spirited Away with me because I had gotten that for Christmas. Ah. The root of the problem. I just realized it. I wanted to force others to watch it with me because I'd been roped into not only Z's chess game, but T's new Office DVD game. I wanted to see how they liked being made to experience others' presents when they'd rather be experiencing their own. (Mi familia has already seen Spirited Away and universally decided that it is creepy. Yes. It is. But it's gorgeous! Gorgeous!!)
So why did I suddenly realize how selfish I am?
Because as I was upstairs pouting and plotting, Mom and Dad offered to watch Spirited Away with me. And we did.
There are a few problems. My dissimilar interests. My interests' tendency to be individual. My all-too-willingness to simply keep myself amused rather than bother with others. (I know that sociologically this is a problem, no matter how nice and fulfilling it may sometimes seem.)
My lack of willingness to change. My lack of willingness to change. My lack of willingness to change.
Recently I've been noticing a lot of my flaws and shrugging them off with a "Oh well, that's the way I am." I know I should do something about this. But oh well. That's the way I am.
LOLIRONY
Wait that isn't irony though, 'cause it's not really the opposite of what you'd expect (unless you'd expect me to, once acknowledging this flaw, do something about it--in which case, try reading the sentence again).
Oh whatever. Rambling now and trying to get out of slight emo-ness. Angsty journal of DOOM part whatever-we're-on-now.... Wait, had one of those already.
In any case. I think I'll read a bit of The Things They Carried (getting out of emo-ness FAIL) and then play with some panties and percieving and that idiot's noodle stand. Unfortunately TWEWY is still on its way, and even more unfortunately I'm a foolish fool who foolishly saved over her 4-4 save point which means I'll have to play that foolish foolhardy fool of a trial AGAIN at some point *whimper*.
I was happier than this most of the day. Really. Really. I got a nyoro~n shirt!
Me: "It's the nyoro~n girl!"
Mom: "Yeah, those four-panel comics were weird. I had no idea what they were, but I figured you'd probably know what it was about."
Douse, have a holly jolly Christmas, all, and try to think about Jesus a bit more than I did.
12.25.2008
12.10.2008
Stolen from Jacey-Rae
List 13 random songs in your mind.
NOTE: You can't peek at the questions below,
it would ruin the fun if you do.. :]
1. Fragrance of Dark Coffee
2. Don't want you no More
3. Yudachi
4. Tabi no Tochuu
5. Cross-Examination 2001 - Allegro
6. The Bitter Taste of Truth
7. Distant Traces (I AM SO SORRY I DON'T KNOW HOW IT GOT HERE)
8. Caramelldansen
9. The Other Promise
10. Teresa Waltz
11. Villain Suite
12. Turnabout Sisters Ballad
13. Carry Me Home
Gosh I hope these don't need to have words...
who do u remember when u hear no. 4?
Who? No one at all. I haven't even told anyone about Spice & Wolf. :C
does no.8 make u happy?
The Caramelldansen? Heck yes!
has no. 3 made u cry?
Only since I started associating "ushinatte-shimau mono, mamori-kireru mono, hon no sukoshi no chigai" with Godot. x_x;
in what occasion did you hear no. 9?
R.B. was telling me about the CD and sent me a youtube link. I loved the flute. I swear I am rolling at an automatic -5 when it comes to resisting flute songs.
do u miss no.10?
XD? I only started listening to it a few days ago when I decided it fit Jesse...
which lyrics do u like the best from no.1?
.............?
do u imagine something when u hear no.2?
Something? Umm once I tried to set colors to it.
who do u remember when u hear no. 6?
Uh lemme think about that.
when was the last time u heard no .11?
Uhm earlier today on the bus. I was going through the orchestra CD.
how about no.8?
Yesterday, I believe.
do u often sing no.1?
*cough* Okay, so singing songs that don't actually have words is a guilty pleasure of mine...
have u sung no.7 to anyone?
Lol what Dahlia's theme? No.
does no. 10 inspire ur life?
Not in the slightest.
does no. 05 show how you truly feel?
First game's Allegro? Um, no. Though I do love it to pieces.
what do u feel wen u hear no.7?
The in-game version makes me feel like LIESSSSS but all the orchestrations are full of flute and so pretty ;_;
do u smile when u hear no 12?
No. The ballad is emo. Turnabout Sisters theme in and of itself, yes, but not the ballad.
when was the first time u heard no.1?
That'd be when I first played 3-2... (tsumannai no. XP)
if u could dedicate no. 9 to someone,
who would it be?
Um that'd be R.B.
does no. 7 mean a lot to u?
Um... no. (Except that pretty much every significant question about T&T can be validly answered with, "Because Dahlia Hawthorne is a b*tch." Try it sometime.)
what's so special about no 10?
Ahm. Well see Jesse's a bit androgynous and since I decided Jessica had such a flutey theme, Jesse needed a slightly flutey theme that was either more masculine or more mysterious. Teresa Waltz = mysterious win.
would u sing no.11 to anyone? to who?
Lol what? The Villain Suite? Pretty sure there is no way to sing that.
does no.8 remind u of someone?
At the moment, C. R.
what memory comes to ur mind when u hear no.5?
Cross-examining witnesses? No one in particular.
do u want to hear no. 12 right now?
I'd like to hear it inside the Kurain Geneology song, actually, because it's EPIC in that. EPIC EPIC EPIC and freaking triumphant, take that White.
can u remember clearly the first time u heard no. 13?
No. D: I think I was sitting on my bed.
NOTE: You can't peek at the questions below,
it would ruin the fun if you do.. :]
1. Fragrance of Dark Coffee
2. Don't want you no More
3. Yudachi
4. Tabi no Tochuu
5. Cross-Examination 2001 - Allegro
6. The Bitter Taste of Truth
7. Distant Traces (I AM SO SORRY I DON'T KNOW HOW IT GOT HERE)
8. Caramelldansen
9. The Other Promise
10. Teresa Waltz
11. Villain Suite
12. Turnabout Sisters Ballad
13. Carry Me Home
Gosh I hope these don't need to have words...
who do u remember when u hear no. 4?
Who? No one at all. I haven't even told anyone about Spice & Wolf. :C
does no.8 make u happy?
The Caramelldansen? Heck yes!
has no. 3 made u cry?
Only since I started associating "ushinatte-shimau mono, mamori-kireru mono, hon no sukoshi no chigai" with Godot. x_x;
in what occasion did you hear no. 9?
R.B. was telling me about the CD and sent me a youtube link. I loved the flute. I swear I am rolling at an automatic -5 when it comes to resisting flute songs.
do u miss no.10?
XD? I only started listening to it a few days ago when I decided it fit Jesse...
which lyrics do u like the best from no.1?
.............?
do u imagine something when u hear no.2?
Something? Umm once I tried to set colors to it.
who do u remember when u hear no. 6?
Uh lemme think about that.
when was the last time u heard no .11?
Uhm earlier today on the bus. I was going through the orchestra CD.
how about no.8?
Yesterday, I believe.
do u often sing no.1?
*cough* Okay, so singing songs that don't actually have words is a guilty pleasure of mine...
have u sung no.7 to anyone?
Lol what Dahlia's theme? No.
does no. 10 inspire ur life?
Not in the slightest.
does no. 05 show how you truly feel?
First game's Allegro? Um, no. Though I do love it to pieces.
what do u feel wen u hear no.7?
The in-game version makes me feel like LIESSSSS but all the orchestrations are full of flute and so pretty ;_;
do u smile when u hear no 12?
No. The ballad is emo. Turnabout Sisters theme in and of itself, yes, but not the ballad.
when was the first time u heard no.1?
That'd be when I first played 3-2... (tsumannai no. XP)
if u could dedicate no. 9 to someone,
who would it be?
Um that'd be R.B.
does no. 7 mean a lot to u?
Um... no. (Except that pretty much every significant question about T&T can be validly answered with, "Because Dahlia Hawthorne is a b*tch." Try it sometime.)
what's so special about no 10?
Ahm. Well see Jesse's a bit androgynous and since I decided Jessica had such a flutey theme, Jesse needed a slightly flutey theme that was either more masculine or more mysterious. Teresa Waltz = mysterious win.
would u sing no.11 to anyone? to who?
Lol what? The Villain Suite? Pretty sure there is no way to sing that.
does no.8 remind u of someone?
At the moment, C. R.
what memory comes to ur mind when u hear no.5?
Cross-examining witnesses? No one in particular.
do u want to hear no. 12 right now?
I'd like to hear it inside the Kurain Geneology song, actually, because it's EPIC in that. EPIC EPIC EPIC and freaking triumphant, take that White.
can u remember clearly the first time u heard no. 13?
No. D: I think I was sitting on my bed.
12.07.2008
Small Victories
Last night my dreams were full of small wish fulfillments. No, seriously. Like I dreamt that my tablet was working again (seriously, Vera, what's wrong with you? I simply want love!) and SPOILERS--that means you, Ryan--I dreamt that there was canonical proof that Godot sees in shades of cyan rather than red. Apparently I care way too much about that argument. Seriously though they're lights, it's not like he can see through them anyway... And it directly contradicts what he said to assume he sees in all-red. "Red doesn't exist in my world" FAIL.
In any case, I do wish Vera would work. If the problems persist I think I'll buy a small Wacom. I mean it'll be slightly more expensive and a slightly smaller workspace, but... It'll probably last longer than my current tablet. Much longer.
In any case, I do wish Vera would work. If the problems persist I think I'll buy a small Wacom. I mean it'll be slightly more expensive and a slightly smaller workspace, but... It'll probably last longer than my current tablet. Much longer.
12.01.2008
So I should be revising my story right now...
AND I'M NOT
First off I'm really tired, and anyway I haven't blogged in forever right? Right. Thanksgiving break occurred. It was not as relaxing as it could have been because I had to work on my revision so of course there was also much miserable procrastinating. I loved seeing my fambly though~~ And my friends! And we had a party and RB and KP (um... Kim Possible...? oO) and I played SSBB. And RB got the coffee mug and called me Trite. D: But then I shooped his whoop. Eventually...
My story revision is.... progressing.... slowly. For a little while I thought I hated it, then I realized that I don't. I think. In any case I am running out of time to hate it (especially if I spend my time PROCRASTINATING and starting to play certain video games that I seem to remember telling myself NOT TO START UNTIL THE REVISION WAS FINISHED) but Hotel Dusk is fantastic so far......
Anyway, good night.
First off I'm really tired, and anyway I haven't blogged in forever right? Right. Thanksgiving break occurred. It was not as relaxing as it could have been because I had to work on my revision so of course there was also much miserable procrastinating. I loved seeing my fambly though~~ And my friends! And we had a party and RB and KP (um... Kim Possible...? oO) and I played SSBB. And RB got the coffee mug and called me Trite. D: But then I shooped his whoop. Eventually...
My story revision is.... progressing.... slowly. For a little while I thought I hated it, then I realized that I don't. I think. In any case I am running out of time to hate it (especially if I spend my time PROCRASTINATING and starting to play certain video games that I seem to remember telling myself NOT TO START UNTIL THE REVISION WAS FINISHED) but Hotel Dusk is fantastic so far......
Anyway, good night.
11.12.2008
Dear World,
It is fun to be alive.
I want to try to describe the feeling I often get when I walk by the Cathedral of Learning. It is joy. Absolute, pure joy. The feeling that I love life. Love being alive. Love existing. Love being me. It's a slightly floaty feeling in my upper chest and a bit in the front of my shoulders. My shoulders because I usually have the urge to throw my hands into the air. When I'm walking around, I like to kick up the fallen leaves. It's childish. It's fun.
Life is fun.
I don't know why the Cathedral--I swear, it's the Cathedral that makes me feel that way, every time I pass it walking recreationally--brings about this feeling. Just, whenever I walk by, I feel like I love being alive. What's so fun about life? Walking, listening to music, being with my thoughts. Living! Being alive! I don't know how to describe it any better than that, and I don't know why it happens. The Cathedral gives off happy vibes. I just feel so glad to be experiencing life.
This is incoherent because I don't understand it and can't express it well.
Today walking back from lit class (which is, by the way, in the Cathedral), I realized it wasn't that cold, and the two songs I listened to on the way home both had perfect walking tempo, so I really enjoyed the walk home and instead of staying in my room on my computer, I decided to go for a completely random walk. I walked past the Cathedral--got the happy I-love-life feeling--and down Forbes for a little while, then turned on some random street to go to Fifth and come home. What I mean is that it's fun to be alive! I sound like a dork. I know this. A dork or (worse? xD) an optimist, but it's fun to be alive.
I am making no sense and repeating myself.
But it's all true.
I want to try to describe the feeling I often get when I walk by the Cathedral of Learning. It is joy. Absolute, pure joy. The feeling that I love life. Love being alive. Love existing. Love being me. It's a slightly floaty feeling in my upper chest and a bit in the front of my shoulders. My shoulders because I usually have the urge to throw my hands into the air. When I'm walking around, I like to kick up the fallen leaves. It's childish. It's fun.
Life is fun.
I don't know why the Cathedral--I swear, it's the Cathedral that makes me feel that way, every time I pass it walking recreationally--brings about this feeling. Just, whenever I walk by, I feel like I love being alive. What's so fun about life? Walking, listening to music, being with my thoughts. Living! Being alive! I don't know how to describe it any better than that, and I don't know why it happens. The Cathedral gives off happy vibes. I just feel so glad to be experiencing life.
This is incoherent because I don't understand it and can't express it well.
Today walking back from lit class (which is, by the way, in the Cathedral), I realized it wasn't that cold, and the two songs I listened to on the way home both had perfect walking tempo, so I really enjoyed the walk home and instead of staying in my room on my computer, I decided to go for a completely random walk. I walked past the Cathedral--got the happy I-love-life feeling--and down Forbes for a little while, then turned on some random street to go to Fifth and come home. What I mean is that it's fun to be alive! I sound like a dork. I know this. A dork or (worse? xD) an optimist, but it's fun to be alive.
I am making no sense and repeating myself.
But it's all true.
11.08.2008
Bowls of Quizzes!
Wheee.
I participated in my first Quiz Bowl meet toda~y. It was fun! I answered many questions. I think the most on our team (our team being the freshman team). Including~!!! One about Link. Yes, Link! From Zelda. XDD <3 In fact I basically answered it from the first clue. (I listened to the second for confirmation, so not really. Don't pay attention to me.)
I'm surprised I answered so very many questions, though! Usually at practice I can't answer many. Of course playing nine packets in a row means I answer more questions. nGa, ne. I swear I answered a higher percentage per packet.
But all the bonuses we got were evil. Srsly.
I participated in my first Quiz Bowl meet toda~y. It was fun! I answered many questions. I think the most on our team (our team being the freshman team). Including~!!! One about Link. Yes, Link! From Zelda. XDD <3 In fact I basically answered it from the first clue. (I listened to the second for confirmation, so not really. Don't pay attention to me.)
I'm surprised I answered so very many questions, though! Usually at practice I can't answer many. Of course playing nine packets in a row means I answer more questions. nGa, ne. I swear I answered a higher percentage per packet.
But all the bonuses we got were evil. Srsly.
10.22.2008
MU is a lie.
Death Note end spoilers
Or if not a lie a very well-crafted bit of misdirection.
*checks 1*.... nope, just an outright lie. (I thought perhaps Ryuk had said something like "And those who have used the Note have a different fate waiting for them. Don't think that a human who has used the Death Note can go to heaven or hell." Then when Light's like "Well 'cause they don't exist right? 8)" it would still be totally legit to answer, "Nope, you're right, they don't" while still not answering the question of "Do Note users go to MU?". If it was a special case. But it's not indicated that it's a special case.)
It's a lie! According to an interview. Littlejohn-san says that according to an interview Death Note users become shinigami DATTE MINNA SOU OMOTTA JA NAI DESU KA. Ack. It's a little frustrating and yet so... relieving because everyone thought he'd become a shinigami. ...Everyone! >3<
So I've actually wondered for quite a while if MU was false anyway--it does after all seem really, really tacked on. With the whole, "At this last moment let's flash back to Light's doe-eyed days to a conversation that suddenly exists and yet existed the whole time 8D" thing. And knowing that the editors or someone demanded that there be punishment for Light. Becoming a shinigami isn't punishment. Innnnnn fact unless he loses his memory we are worse off than before. (Free eyes yaaaaa--uh-oh.) Which leads to an incredibly interesting question about the morality of that--someone who really is a shinigami, killing..... but..., it says the murders stopped.......? Hmn. Maybe he does lose his memory. Or his interest? He's all like, "I'm a human doing this for humans."
Well whatever.
I like being right.
Or if not a lie a very well-crafted bit of misdirection.
*checks 1*.... nope, just an outright lie. (I thought perhaps Ryuk had said something like "And those who have used the Note have a different fate waiting for them. Don't think that a human who has used the Death Note can go to heaven or hell." Then when Light's like "Well 'cause they don't exist right? 8)" it would still be totally legit to answer, "Nope, you're right, they don't" while still not answering the question of "Do Note users go to MU?". If it was a special case. But it's not indicated that it's a special case.)
It's a lie! According to an interview. Littlejohn-san says that according to an interview Death Note users become shinigami DATTE MINNA SOU OMOTTA JA NAI DESU KA. Ack. It's a little frustrating and yet so... relieving because everyone thought he'd become a shinigami. ...Everyone! >3<
So I've actually wondered for quite a while if MU was false anyway--it does after all seem really, really tacked on. With the whole, "At this last moment let's flash back to Light's doe-eyed days to a conversation that suddenly exists and yet existed the whole time 8D" thing. And knowing that the editors or someone demanded that there be punishment for Light. Becoming a shinigami isn't punishment. Innnnnn fact unless he loses his memory we are worse off than before. (Free eyes yaaaaa--uh-oh.) Which leads to an incredibly interesting question about the morality of that--someone who really is a shinigami, killing..... but..., it says the murders stopped.......? Hmn. Maybe he does lose his memory. Or his interest? He's all like, "I'm a human doing this for humans."
Well whatever.
I like being right.
10.12.2008
Not that I'm really *that* much more focused in writing...
'Kay, God.
If it's all right I'm going to type this out as a prayer because if I just think it, I'll lose focus and will go off to Lawyer-Land to work on Mia's case some more. That's what my brain likes to do. But if it's written out I can't exactly go plotting, can I? ...For appearances, I suppose, which is the wrong motive, but it's the best I've got.
What do You want of me?
...I suppose... it's my fault, for trying to answer that question with a Tarot reading. No, for supposing it answered through that Tarot reading. ...Without even praying about it properly. ......Seriously now. I'm not sure why I thought that was a good idea, and is it really mixed messages if okaruto guddzu (wth@olllllllld phrase is old) tell me one thing and I hear a different answer in a sermon? Hardly. Like I wondered after the first reading, should I be doing the opposite just because the cards tell me so? ...Ha.
I do believe that You have placed me here for a purpose--or do I? Or do I just wish I believed that? K.C. was so confident when she said that and I was impressed. That the reason I got into only one school was so that I would definitely wind up here, where I belonged. Even if that is the reason I still think there's another one--to knock my pride down a peg or two which I always need and never like. ...But that is unrelated. This is all babbling and am I really praying?--or just thinking into the keys...? Either way I am thinking about the matter which is good.
God, do I belong here? It's expensive. And the focus in Japanese is on speaking, not writing, which isn't what I like and isn't... what I need for the future. I have no intention of being an interpreter. No thank you. And I don't agree with the textbook's philosophy at all. But then again the Fiction Writing program is supposedly great, but writing is... I feel like my majors are so impractical, just because they're what I love. No matter. This isn't a question of my majors, this is a question of where I'll be taking them.
So it's painfully expensive here. There are ways I can help that... And I need to get on them. Finding a job is crucial. Going to the financial aid office and asking about ways to get more scholarships is as well. And perhaps finding a site with a better interface than FastWeb's. ...I refuse to go back to FastWeb because it is OBNOXIOUS.
Is that what You want me to do, God? In the sermon today the pastor that people wind up where they wind up for a reason. Because You put them there. I suppose since I was given no chance to struggle there can be no doubt that You put me here, so You must want me here at least temporarily. But permanently? --Or for four years, I mean. Or do You want me to learn something here and then move on? Perhaps not to be so complacent. Another message I can always use. And always ignore because complacency is easy. It wouldn't hurt I suppose to look into other schools other Japanese programs but boy would it not be fun. I really do not want to go through the college application process again, honestly? That was not fun. But if God placed me here for a reason, then what on Earth is that reason? Milton, you arrogant old dead man, get over here and justify the ways of God to me. Ha. Kidding. Like I really need the advice of someone so self-absorbed, get enough of that from myself. (To not be so hard on myself: another thing the Tarot reading told me, and I laughed because oh I do like to be hard on myself when it comes to things like this. But then again I criticize myself and do nothing to change the matter, so perhaps going by reverse-psychology I should be harder on myself. Off-topic.)
God, I wish I knew what You want from me. But what good does it do to think that? Why should God need his ways justified to man anyway? He's--You're--freakin' God. (What? ...I'm not sure if that's blasphemy or just irreverence, but I'm fairly certain it doesn't belong in a prayer.) In any case more important, godly people than I have asked that and not gotten an answer, so why should the useless, distracted me try to demand one? Or even beg one? Because my faith isn't strong enough, because I'm so much better at head-believing than at heart-believing and can't act on things unless I know the reasoning behind them? Then I should become stronger. Then I should become better at heart-believing. I am so bad at heart-believing. Raised in the church, I know all the answers the Bible-study leaders want and can say them without feeling any of it. When I get to heaven and God asks me why I should get into heaven, I'll know the answer is "because Jesus died for my sins," and I'll--I will, I do--believe it, but if I don't feel it, does it count...? This dispassionate "okay, sure" kind of belief... Is it real? I do believe in God; ...I do believe He's spoken to me through pointed words just-for-me hidden in sermons; ...I do believe this. But why do I only feel it when he speaks specifically to me, not all the time? I should not ask myself if this is average, if I'm an average Christian, because that does. not. matter. At all. Especially if my stupid brain is wondering then if I'm "good enough." Do not be "good enough." Be better! Somehow find a way to start being worthy of the apparent interest God shows in the useless you.
Which is all still rambling and off-topic, BUT it isn't about lawyers so that's a start.
Daigaku no koto.
God, what should I do?
Is it logic or You or some sort of combination that's telling me I should look into other schools? Because it never hurts to look. Because it's expensive here. Because speaking is the focus. Because the textbook ticks me off. These are logical reasons. ....But God can work through logic, can't He? Or does trying to puzzle out the answer keep me from listening to Him? Or is He guiding my logic? This is why I can't tell. I don't trust my own thoughts and I don't know how to distinguish His words from my own when they're just in my head. This is why I can only recognize God's answers when they come to me through someone else's words. Today the pastor said that we wind up where we wind up for a reason and the reason is God. After I'd prayed--oh what a concept--for an answer to the transferring dilemna. Don't you, "Then logically," me, brain...! ...Or is it God that I'm distrusting? Can my mind even find that answer? In church I felt they were God's words to me. Only... when I started thinking about it did I start to doubt that. But now I'm afraid to close off my options. Is it possible for me to put my trust completely in God? ...When I'm not even sure it was God speaking to me... Too many questions and a lack of ability on my part to discern the answers. And even when He tells me the answer I doubt my interpretation... a mortal interpretation, of course I should doubt it. No one can know God's mind... I believe. Or maybe I don't. (What.) There may be some people who can come pretty darn close. I certainly am not one of those people, I just wish I knew what God was telling me. I have felt the unshakable will of God once before--yes I am sure of it, that time was without a doubt God's will--and at that time I refused. Like Moses who said he could not lead the people. God I am not good enough. She was sitting by me crying and all I had to do was whisper and ask her if she needed prayer, and I didn't because I was afraid my words would come out in the wrong order, God I am not good enough I said back in my head and I knew You wanted me to and I told You i couldn't even head-knowing, even head-believing that a person can do anything through You and I can never be sorry enough for that. Do I believe You have forgiven me? I head-believe it as well as I can head-believe anything but I can't stop feeling sorry, I can't forgive myself because I deliberately disobeyed the will of God because of my own pride. Because I can't pray well out loud...! Who needs such an ability? Kudaranee. Trivial. That isn't the point.
I have felt God's will before and at that time I disobeyed. I do not trust my mortal mind to determine God's will--or perhaps I expect something as strong as that time--or perhaps I want to believe what's easiest. I shouldn't try to believe what's easiest. God if You will forgive me for it, if You will permit it I will look into other schools--may I? Or are You telling me not to? ...I can't tell if it's Your voice I hear or just my brain catching onto the relevant words. Will You forgive me if I try to keep my options open? In the future, I'll pray rather than asking Littlejohn-san's toys for the answers to life. That's what I'll promise You now. I'll try to keep that promise.
I'd prefer not to receive comments on this entry.
If it's all right I'm going to type this out as a prayer because if I just think it, I'll lose focus and will go off to Lawyer-Land to work on Mia's case some more. That's what my brain likes to do. But if it's written out I can't exactly go plotting, can I? ...For appearances, I suppose, which is the wrong motive, but it's the best I've got.
What do You want of me?
...I suppose... it's my fault, for trying to answer that question with a Tarot reading. No, for supposing it answered through that Tarot reading. ...Without even praying about it properly. ......Seriously now. I'm not sure why I thought that was a good idea, and is it really mixed messages if okaruto guddzu (wth@olllllllld phrase is old) tell me one thing and I hear a different answer in a sermon? Hardly. Like I wondered after the first reading, should I be doing the opposite just because the cards tell me so? ...Ha.
I do believe that You have placed me here for a purpose--or do I? Or do I just wish I believed that? K.C. was so confident when she said that and I was impressed. That the reason I got into only one school was so that I would definitely wind up here, where I belonged. Even if that is the reason I still think there's another one--to knock my pride down a peg or two which I always need and never like. ...But that is unrelated. This is all babbling and am I really praying?--or just thinking into the keys...? Either way I am thinking about the matter which is good.
God, do I belong here? It's expensive. And the focus in Japanese is on speaking, not writing, which isn't what I like and isn't... what I need for the future. I have no intention of being an interpreter. No thank you. And I don't agree with the textbook's philosophy at all. But then again the Fiction Writing program is supposedly great, but writing is... I feel like my majors are so impractical, just because they're what I love. No matter. This isn't a question of my majors, this is a question of where I'll be taking them.
So it's painfully expensive here. There are ways I can help that... And I need to get on them. Finding a job is crucial. Going to the financial aid office and asking about ways to get more scholarships is as well. And perhaps finding a site with a better interface than FastWeb's. ...I refuse to go back to FastWeb because it is OBNOXIOUS.
Is that what You want me to do, God? In the sermon today the pastor that people wind up where they wind up for a reason. Because You put them there. I suppose since I was given no chance to struggle there can be no doubt that You put me here, so You must want me here at least temporarily. But permanently? --Or for four years, I mean. Or do You want me to learn something here and then move on? Perhaps not to be so complacent. Another message I can always use. And always ignore because complacency is easy. It wouldn't hurt I suppose to look into other schools other Japanese programs but boy would it not be fun. I really do not want to go through the college application process again, honestly? That was not fun. But if God placed me here for a reason, then what on Earth is that reason? Milton, you arrogant old dead man, get over here and justify the ways of God to me. Ha. Kidding. Like I really need the advice of someone so self-absorbed, get enough of that from myself. (To not be so hard on myself: another thing the Tarot reading told me, and I laughed because oh I do like to be hard on myself when it comes to things like this. But then again I criticize myself and do nothing to change the matter, so perhaps going by reverse-psychology I should be harder on myself. Off-topic.)
God, I wish I knew what You want from me. But what good does it do to think that? Why should God need his ways justified to man anyway? He's--You're--freakin' God. (What? ...I'm not sure if that's blasphemy or just irreverence, but I'm fairly certain it doesn't belong in a prayer.) In any case more important, godly people than I have asked that and not gotten an answer, so why should the useless, distracted me try to demand one? Or even beg one? Because my faith isn't strong enough, because I'm so much better at head-believing than at heart-believing and can't act on things unless I know the reasoning behind them? Then I should become stronger. Then I should become better at heart-believing. I am so bad at heart-believing. Raised in the church, I know all the answers the Bible-study leaders want and can say them without feeling any of it. When I get to heaven and God asks me why I should get into heaven, I'll know the answer is "because Jesus died for my sins," and I'll--I will, I do--believe it, but if I don't feel it, does it count...? This dispassionate "okay, sure" kind of belief... Is it real? I do believe in God; ...I do believe He's spoken to me through pointed words just-for-me hidden in sermons; ...I do believe this. But why do I only feel it when he speaks specifically to me, not all the time? I should not ask myself if this is average, if I'm an average Christian, because that does. not. matter. At all. Especially if my stupid brain is wondering then if I'm "good enough." Do not be "good enough." Be better! Somehow find a way to start being worthy of the apparent interest God shows in the useless you.
Which is all still rambling and off-topic, BUT it isn't about lawyers so that's a start.
Daigaku no koto.
God, what should I do?
Is it logic or You or some sort of combination that's telling me I should look into other schools? Because it never hurts to look. Because it's expensive here. Because speaking is the focus. Because the textbook ticks me off. These are logical reasons. ....But God can work through logic, can't He? Or does trying to puzzle out the answer keep me from listening to Him? Or is He guiding my logic? This is why I can't tell. I don't trust my own thoughts and I don't know how to distinguish His words from my own when they're just in my head. This is why I can only recognize God's answers when they come to me through someone else's words. Today the pastor said that we wind up where we wind up for a reason and the reason is God. After I'd prayed--oh what a concept--for an answer to the transferring dilemna. Don't you, "Then logically," me, brain...! ...Or is it God that I'm distrusting? Can my mind even find that answer? In church I felt they were God's words to me. Only... when I started thinking about it did I start to doubt that. But now I'm afraid to close off my options. Is it possible for me to put my trust completely in God? ...When I'm not even sure it was God speaking to me... Too many questions and a lack of ability on my part to discern the answers. And even when He tells me the answer I doubt my interpretation... a mortal interpretation, of course I should doubt it. No one can know God's mind... I believe. Or maybe I don't. (What.) There may be some people who can come pretty darn close. I certainly am not one of those people, I just wish I knew what God was telling me. I have felt the unshakable will of God once before--yes I am sure of it, that time was without a doubt God's will--and at that time I refused. Like Moses who said he could not lead the people. God I am not good enough. She was sitting by me crying and all I had to do was whisper and ask her if she needed prayer, and I didn't because I was afraid my words would come out in the wrong order, God I am not good enough I said back in my head and I knew You wanted me to and I told You i couldn't even head-knowing, even head-believing that a person can do anything through You and I can never be sorry enough for that. Do I believe You have forgiven me? I head-believe it as well as I can head-believe anything but I can't stop feeling sorry, I can't forgive myself because I deliberately disobeyed the will of God because of my own pride. Because I can't pray well out loud...! Who needs such an ability? Kudaranee. Trivial. That isn't the point.
I have felt God's will before and at that time I disobeyed. I do not trust my mortal mind to determine God's will--or perhaps I expect something as strong as that time--or perhaps I want to believe what's easiest. I shouldn't try to believe what's easiest. God if You will forgive me for it, if You will permit it I will look into other schools--may I? Or are You telling me not to? ...I can't tell if it's Your voice I hear or just my brain catching onto the relevant words. Will You forgive me if I try to keep my options open? In the future, I'll pray rather than asking Littlejohn-san's toys for the answers to life. That's what I'll promise You now. I'll try to keep that promise.
I'd prefer not to receive comments on this entry.
10.11.2008
I need a story idea.
Let's try to force one to appear.
Things I like
Deserted things
..factories
..theaters
..theme parks
Outsider feeling
Theme: Don't screw with fate
Weariness
People coming to a new understanding about each other
Empty expanses
Mild+ insanity
Feeling of "Cat in the Rain"
Irony
Steampunk
Post-apocalyptic
Cats
So what about a girl taking care of just a cat in a post-apocalyptic abandoned theme park? :D
Everything about it sounds pretty, but what would happen, huh?
The cat could die.
.......I'm awful person sometimes.
But that's an event all right. ...But I don't want to kill the cat.
I don't feel like writing right now~ Let's go play in the Magical Attorney System of Newness System.
Things I like
Deserted things
..factories
..theaters
..theme parks
Outsider feeling
Theme: Don't screw with fate
Weariness
People coming to a new understanding about each other
Empty expanses
Mild+ insanity
Feeling of "Cat in the Rain"
Irony
Steampunk
Post-apocalyptic
Cats
So what about a girl taking care of just a cat in a post-apocalyptic abandoned theme park? :D
Everything about it sounds pretty, but what would happen, huh?
The cat could die.
.......I'm awful person sometimes.
But that's an event all right. ...But I don't want to kill the cat.
I don't feel like writing right now~ Let's go play in the Magical Attorney System of Newness System.
Double Trouble
RULES:
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.
1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
ピエロ
(That's not a happy song. DX)
2. How would you describe yourself?
In The Lake
(Swimming, Anyone? -stab'd-)
3. What do you like in a guy?
Imitation of Life
(What. I think I'd prefer a guy who's actually living, actually.)
4. How do you feel today?
Wine Red
(I wasn't aware I felt things in color...)
5. What is your life's purpose?
i feel...
(To be emotional. And/or to DDR.)
6. What is your motto?
Trials & Tribulations Court Suite
(...I wish I could say this wasn't true, but I am so obsessed with this game it's not funny. Ouch.)
7. What do your friends think of you?
Squirm
(D:)
8. What do you think of your parents?
Dance of the Manatees
(Uh.... what?)
9. What do you think about very often?
Bagpipes
(That's news to me.)
10. What is 2 + 2?
Memories
(*has a quiet laugh at the fact that that's question ten, but has no idea what Memories has to do with four, ten, or B.)
11. What do you think of your best friend?
Treble, Bass, and Attitude
(Apparently my best friend loves music and has an attitude.)
12. What do you think of the person you like?
Of All Circumstances
(What. I use this song title when I'm frustrated with things...? oO)
13. What is your life story?
Look to the Sky
("Feelin' sad and lonely, 'cause I can't find you"? I hope I'm not that clingy.)
14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Garden in my Room (Reprise)
(I don't think I'm actually capable of gardening properly.)
15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Go for It!
(And carpe diem and all that I suppose.)
16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Sign My Snarling Doggy
(XD)
17. What will they play at your funeral?
I Need You
(Don't you dare play this song at my funeral, I don't like it.)
18. What is your hobby/interest?
Eileen
(I don't even know any Eileens. So unless this is supposed to be a very subtle hint at the fact that I'm too obsessed with Miego...)
19. What is your biggest fear?
The Market
(Selling things? Or not being able to comfort someone?)
20. What is your biggest secret?
Sarabai!
(This song is bonkers. ...Which can't be my secret, because everyone knows that. So something about saying farewelll?)
21. What do you think of your friends?
Walking my Gargoyle
(XD?)
22. What will you post this as?
Double Trouble
(Prepare for trouble~ Make it double~ LOL it's pathetic how much I still loooooove this CD.)
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.
1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
ピエロ
(That's not a happy song. DX)
2. How would you describe yourself?
In The Lake
(Swimming, Anyone? -stab'd-)
3. What do you like in a guy?
Imitation of Life
(What. I think I'd prefer a guy who's actually living, actually.)
4. How do you feel today?
Wine Red
(I wasn't aware I felt things in color...)
5. What is your life's purpose?
i feel...
(To be emotional. And/or to DDR.)
6. What is your motto?
Trials & Tribulations Court Suite
(...I wish I could say this wasn't true, but I am so obsessed with this game it's not funny. Ouch.)
7. What do your friends think of you?
Squirm
(D:)
8. What do you think of your parents?
Dance of the Manatees
(Uh.... what?)
9. What do you think about very often?
Bagpipes
(That's news to me.)
10. What is 2 + 2?
Memories
(*has a quiet laugh at the fact that that's question ten, but has no idea what Memories has to do with four, ten, or B.)
11. What do you think of your best friend?
Treble, Bass, and Attitude
(Apparently my best friend loves music and has an attitude.)
12. What do you think of the person you like?
Of All Circumstances
(What. I use this song title when I'm frustrated with things...? oO)
13. What is your life story?
Look to the Sky
("Feelin' sad and lonely, 'cause I can't find you"? I hope I'm not that clingy.)
14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Garden in my Room (Reprise)
(I don't think I'm actually capable of gardening properly.)
15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Go for It!
(And carpe diem and all that I suppose.)
16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Sign My Snarling Doggy
(XD)
17. What will they play at your funeral?
I Need You
(Don't you dare play this song at my funeral, I don't like it.)
18. What is your hobby/interest?
Eileen
(I don't even know any Eileens. So unless this is supposed to be a very subtle hint at the fact that I'm too obsessed with Miego...)
19. What is your biggest fear?
The Market
(Selling things? Or not being able to comfort someone?)
20. What is your biggest secret?
Sarabai!
(This song is bonkers. ...Which can't be my secret, because everyone knows that. So something about saying farewelll?)
21. What do you think of your friends?
Walking my Gargoyle
(XD?)
22. What will you post this as?
Double Trouble
(Prepare for trouble~ Make it double~ LOL it's pathetic how much I still loooooove this CD.)
10.06.2008
BLARGH
I feel icky.
First I feel that I should bring this to your attention: http://www.unowen.net/tegaki/dblog.php?u=17592&e=311359
Offer not exclusive to Tegaki. If you want that cold, it's yours! Please, feel free to take it off my hands. Err... nose.
Right now I should be writing an essay for Lectures in Literature but my brain feels mushy and it's hard toforce myself to be logical when my brain feels mushy. Anyway I've got tomorrow to do it... right? Even if I can't possibly skip anime club and CAKE and Portal. If there will be cake. Oh I could always ditch programming though, and it would make NO DIFFERENCE... maybe. Or I could go and just not program anything because I've already finished the assignment due Thursday which will probably, given the pacing FAIL of that class, wind up being due NEXT Thursday instead. *BABBLES*
Anyway.
On Saturday there was a connnn forty minutes away. It was small. And pretty thoroughly unimpressive. But I got to Caramelldansen in a large group (which made me dizzy) and play Still Alive on Rock Band...! Which was spectacular. Other than that... the worst part of the con was definitely without a doubt the three-second glimpse I had of a 300-lb closet Mello cosplay. I felt like I was going to be sick. I wish I was kidding. -shrivels-
Me: *trying hard not to look* Please tell me that was not supposed to be a Mello cosplay.
Littlejohn-san: As much as I would like to, I unfortunately cannot, because I am sworn to honesty.
Me: *shudders horribly*
GOSH DARNIT AT LEAST GET THE COLOR OF HIS ROSARY BEADS RIGHT.
^WTH weirdest objection EVER
^^Inability to call Japanese class friends by their first name WIN
Oh but there was a nice steampunk man there, who I actually got to talk to a little because apparently Littlejohn-san knew him--fairly certain she knows everything--and he sang a song called "Skullcrusher Mountain"--a Jonathan Coultan song. I need to take initiative to listen to more of his stuff soon, because it's flipping funny. -babble babble babble- In other news, my inability to talk to cosplays I like has been CONFIRMED. Apparently I would much rather stare at them out of the corner of my eye when they're not looking. This is where a comment about how I'll never get to meet any Diego cosplayers would go if it weren't for the fact that I haven't actually seen any Diego cosplayers that really look likeMattsun-sama's version of Diego to me. :/
La.
College is going well. I've got my paper due Wednesday of course and I turned in my short story in FW last Tuesday, but other than that my classes have been completely devoid of MAJOR EVENTs. By which I mean exams. I have not taken any exams yet. Quizzes yes, lots of quizzes in Japanese and Lectures in Lit, but no exams. Is this a result of having nearly all humanities classes?
WOOT if so... though I feel odd, everyone's like, "zomg midterms" and I'm like "am I missing something here??" :payne:
I FEEL LIKE CRAP
TIME FOR SLEEP
First I feel that I should bring this to your attention: http://www.unowen.net/tegaki/dblog.php?u=17592&e=311359
Offer not exclusive to Tegaki. If you want that cold, it's yours! Please, feel free to take it off my hands. Err... nose.
Right now I should be writing an essay for Lectures in Literature but my brain feels mushy and it's hard to
Anyway.
On Saturday there was a connnn forty minutes away. It was small. And pretty thoroughly unimpressive. But I got to Caramelldansen in a large group (which made me dizzy) and play Still Alive on Rock Band...! Which was spectacular. Other than that... the worst part of the con was definitely without a doubt the three-second glimpse I had of a 300-lb closet Mello cosplay. I felt like I was going to be sick. I wish I was kidding. -shrivels-
Me: *trying hard not to look* Please tell me that was not supposed to be a Mello cosplay.
Littlejohn-san: As much as I would like to, I unfortunately cannot, because I am sworn to honesty.
Me: *shudders horribly*
GOSH DARNIT AT LEAST GET THE COLOR OF HIS ROSARY BEADS RIGHT.
^WTH weirdest objection EVER
^^Inability to call Japanese class friends by their first name WIN
Oh but there was a nice steampunk man there, who I actually got to talk to a little because apparently Littlejohn-san knew him--fairly certain she knows everything--and he sang a song called "Skullcrusher Mountain"--a Jonathan Coultan song. I need to take initiative to listen to more of his stuff soon, because it's flipping funny. -babble babble babble- In other news, my inability to talk to cosplays I like has been CONFIRMED. Apparently I would much rather stare at them out of the corner of my eye when they're not looking. This is where a comment about how I'll never get to meet any Diego cosplayers would go if it weren't for the fact that I haven't actually seen any Diego cosplayers that really look like
La.
College is going well. I've got my paper due Wednesday of course and I turned in my short story in FW last Tuesday, but other than that my classes have been completely devoid of MAJOR EVENTs. By which I mean exams. I have not taken any exams yet. Quizzes yes, lots of quizzes in Japanese and Lectures in Lit, but no exams. Is this a result of having nearly all humanities classes?
WOOT if so... though I feel odd, everyone's like, "zomg midterms" and I'm like "am I missing something here??" :payne:
I FEEL LIKE CRAP
TIME FOR SLEEP
9.19.2008
Job.
I'm getting one.
Apparently.
Iie, dou natte mo I'm getting one. The question is whether or not I'm getting this one, na.
*primal scream goes here*
FIRST OF ALL--no, I hardly know where to begin. Aggh.
Well, first of all, it's a job with animal testing. Which... aaaah. Originally I was like, "No, I shouldn't apply for this one, probably..." but then I did. Because I mean since I'm doing this so late there aren't a lot of options left, and it's quite well-paid for work study, and... I applied, when I was in the middle of sending off about five emails about work study. Of course it would be the only one I get a positive response from, so I went in for an interview (after not being able to get into the building at first) and they were like "What's your specialty?" and I'm like, "Umm well, Japanese." NA NO NI they want to hire me over other candidates.
AND THEN.
For some ridiculous reason, the emails they send me are coming like two days late, wth. That's to my gmail account. Before, I was thinking that the forwarding system was just delayed, but that doesn't seem to always be the case; I think maybe gmail just hates...... certain addresses??? I've never heard of an email being delayed two days before. So then they tried to call me, and they called me in the middle of class, so naturally I couldn't answer and they got my Japanese voicemail. ...I probably should change that, but I like it that way.
Yesterday I gave them my hotmail account and got my school email all fixed up... except for some reason it still takes like an hour for the stupid things to arrive. Not as bad as TWO FREAKING DAYS, of course, but still rather significant. Also, I had my friend send me an email to test it, and it showed up in my pitt account last night but it has yet to hit my gmail. ...Seriously, what the heck. It's like gmail's sending emails from pitt through security or something. Security that takes a really, really long time.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Anyway, I haven't gotten anything from them on my hotmail about maybe coming in today to fill out my workstudy packet and get started with everything, so I think at twelve or something I'll call and ask if they have sent anything. If they have, then A;SDLVIJAPEIOFA most whole-heartedly and I will be scared off email for professional matters for LIFE. And if they haven't then cool, I may have the weekend to myself to NOT DEAL WITH THAT, which would be nice and I could draw a picture. Well depending on how this goes perhaps I could draw a picture this weekend anyway, though I do need to read Paradise Lost and work on my short story for FW and actually start studying Japanese properly rather than, "Yeah I know all this stuff" AND think about an essay for Lectures in Lit and... yeah no nothing in computer programming. As well as I want to finish the post-3-5 Franziska.Edgeworth I'm writing, which I mention because guess what I was doing rather than programming in computer programming yesterday...
(But if you guessed STRESSING ABOUT THIS JOB DEAL, you are also correct.)
*breathe in and SIGH*
And then there's the fact
That I'm trying to figure out if God is telling me not to take this job, through all the confusion and crap. As well as the dream I had a few nights ago... I don't remember it, but it was more stress about the job. Or, I'm just ridiculously stressed about it and am desperate for an excuse to not take it.
Ugh, it'll be nice once today is over because I'm quite certain that nothing will happen tomorrow.
EDIT:
Okay, so, before all that crap yesterday, just before all of that--all of the stuff happened with the second of the two people who I've been dealing with about the job. Meanwhile, because I couldn't be reached due to the aforementioned mess with gmail, the first person I'd dealt with had already offered the job to an alternate candidate. So I'm out.
It's... fairly pathetic how relieved I feel.
It's nice to know, too, that most of the fact was not my fault at all. Part of it is, because I melded my home number with my cell number in an email I sent (sasuga, WOI), but most of it is because of that strange and completely unpredictable mess with gmail. (I'm thinking now that gmail was always the problem; for some reason, it just takes days to transmit some of the pitt emails.)
And... I don't have to deal with animal testing.
So, everything's good--except now I need to get cracking looking for job options again.
Apparently.
Iie, dou natte mo I'm getting one. The question is whether or not I'm getting this one, na.
*primal scream goes here*
FIRST OF ALL--no, I hardly know where to begin. Aggh.
Well, first of all, it's a job with animal testing. Which... aaaah. Originally I was like, "No, I shouldn't apply for this one, probably..." but then I did. Because I mean since I'm doing this so late there aren't a lot of options left, and it's quite well-paid for work study, and... I applied, when I was in the middle of sending off about five emails about work study. Of course it would be the only one I get a positive response from, so I went in for an interview (after not being able to get into the building at first) and they were like "What's your specialty?" and I'm like, "Umm well, Japanese." NA NO NI they want to hire me over other candidates.
AND THEN.
For some ridiculous reason, the emails they send me are coming like two days late, wth. That's to my gmail account. Before, I was thinking that the forwarding system was just delayed, but that doesn't seem to always be the case; I think maybe gmail just hates...... certain addresses??? I've never heard of an email being delayed two days before. So then they tried to call me, and they called me in the middle of class, so naturally I couldn't answer and they got my Japanese voicemail. ...I probably should change that, but I like it that way.
Yesterday I gave them my hotmail account and got my school email all fixed up... except for some reason it still takes like an hour for the stupid things to arrive. Not as bad as TWO FREAKING DAYS, of course, but still rather significant. Also, I had my friend send me an email to test it, and it showed up in my pitt account last night but it has yet to hit my gmail. ...Seriously, what the heck. It's like gmail's sending emails from pitt through security or something. Security that takes a really, really long time.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Anyway, I haven't gotten anything from them on my hotmail about maybe coming in today to fill out my workstudy packet and get started with everything, so I think at twelve or something I'll call and ask if they have sent anything. If they have, then A;SDLVIJAPEIOFA most whole-heartedly and I will be scared off email for professional matters for LIFE. And if they haven't then cool, I may have the weekend to myself to NOT DEAL WITH THAT, which would be nice and I could draw a picture. Well depending on how this goes perhaps I could draw a picture this weekend anyway, though I do need to read Paradise Lost and work on my short story for FW and actually start studying Japanese properly rather than, "Yeah I know all this stuff" AND think about an essay for Lectures in Lit and... yeah no nothing in computer programming. As well as I want to finish the post-3-5 Franziska.Edgeworth I'm writing, which I mention because guess what I was doing rather than programming in computer programming yesterday...
(But if you guessed STRESSING ABOUT THIS JOB DEAL, you are also correct.)
*breathe in and SIGH*
And then there's the fact
That I'm trying to figure out if God is telling me not to take this job, through all the confusion and crap. As well as the dream I had a few nights ago... I don't remember it, but it was more stress about the job. Or, I'm just ridiculously stressed about it and am desperate for an excuse to not take it.
Ugh, it'll be nice once today is over because I'm quite certain that nothing will happen tomorrow.
EDIT:
Okay, so, before all that crap yesterday, just before all of that--all of the stuff happened with the second of the two people who I've been dealing with about the job. Meanwhile, because I couldn't be reached due to the aforementioned mess with gmail, the first person I'd dealt with had already offered the job to an alternate candidate. So I'm out.
It's... fairly pathetic how relieved I feel.
It's nice to know, too, that most of the fact was not my fault at all. Part of it is, because I melded my home number with my cell number in an email I sent (sasuga, WOI), but most of it is because of that strange and completely unpredictable mess with gmail. (I'm thinking now that gmail was always the problem; for some reason, it just takes days to transmit some of the pitt emails.)
And... I don't have to deal with animal testing.
So, everything's good--except now I need to get cracking looking for job options again.
9.10.2008
My camera's plugged in right now
So I suppose I might as well post some pictures.
Not that I've actually taken any of, you know, school and stuff.
But
Before an orientation thing, I was bored and had a pen but no paper, so I drew Kaminogi-san on my arm:
Obviously it looked less blurry in real life. But this is why I always need a reasonable way to entertain myself, because without a reasonable way to entertain myself, I can still keep myself entertained, it's just there won't be any sanity involved.
And here's a picture of myself today:
(nofaaaaaaaaaaace)
You'll notice I have 1/2 of Dahlia's hairstyle.
WAIT THERE'S A REASON FOR IT.
I'm trying to draw her realistically right now, so I needed to see how the braids worked out. The way they're drawn in the sprites doesn't make sense. You can't have braids come from a point like that, not at the roots. So I snapped a few pictures of the roots to help me shade... hopefully it will actually help. XP
Anyway, why am I trying to draw Dahlia in the first place? Oh, geez, I have no idea. Because I've never seen a picture of her that makes me stop and say, "Wow, that's breathtakingly beautiful," even though she's supposed to be breathtakingly beautiful...
Not that I'll be able to achieve that, but I'm gonna try.
It's going fairly well so far, other than the braids issue, and her dress. Ugh. I'm having trouble getting the triangle-y top to look right. For the sake of lazy I left her parasol and scarf out. It's basically her profile square except it extends a little farther down.
ANYWAY
I'm supposed to be doing homework right now.
---
+SURVEY :D
I should still be doing homework right now. Maa, I'll have time later.
I don't think I'll feel like translating these all out, actually, so... Yeah. Some of my answers might be in Japanese, too.
SPOILERS for all of T&T. (Really. -A-)
Also, I'm not entirely sure all of this is... appropriate.
Not that I've actually taken any of, you know, school and stuff.
But
Before an orientation thing, I was bored and had a pen but no paper, so I drew Kaminogi-san on my arm:
Obviously it looked less blurry in real life. But this is why I always need a reasonable way to entertain myself, because without a reasonable way to entertain myself, I can still keep myself entertained, it's just there won't be any sanity involved.
And here's a picture of myself today:
(nofaaaaaaaaaaace)You'll notice I have 1/2 of Dahlia's hairstyle.
WAIT THERE'S A REASON FOR IT.
I'm trying to draw her realistically right now, so I needed to see how the braids worked out. The way they're drawn in the sprites doesn't make sense. You can't have braids come from a point like that, not at the roots. So I snapped a few pictures of the roots to help me shade... hopefully it will actually help. XP
Anyway, why am I trying to draw Dahlia in the first place? Oh, geez, I have no idea. Because I've never seen a picture of her that makes me stop and say, "Wow, that's breathtakingly beautiful," even though she's supposed to be breathtakingly beautiful...
Not that I'll be able to achieve that, but I'm gonna try.
It's going fairly well so far, other than the braids issue, and her dress. Ugh. I'm having trouble getting the triangle-y top to look right. For the sake of lazy I left her parasol and scarf out. It's basically her profile square except it extends a little farther down.
ANYWAY
I'm supposed to be doing homework right now.
---
+SURVEY :D
I should still be doing homework right now. Maa, I'll have time later.
I don't think I'll feel like translating these all out, actually, so... Yeah. Some of my answers might be in Japanese, too.
SPOILERS for all of T&T. (Really. -A-)
Also, I'm not entirely sure all of this is... appropriate.
1 あなたの名前を教えてください
Diego Armando.
Mia Fey.
2 年齢は？
D. 33.
M. 27...? When I died, that is. I've been dead two years.
D. Are you always so blunt about it?
M. Is there any reason to beat around the bush?
3 性別は？
D. Male.
M. Female.
4 貴方の性格は？
D. Arrogant but charming, right, Kitten?
M. No comment. I suppose I'm... determined and kind?
5 相手の性格は？
M. It's strange... Diego says he finally figured out that he was the arrogant one. But all he had to do was ask me, I would have told him right away.
D. Ouch, Kitten. What happened to "no comment"?
M. I was waiting for the opportune moment.
D. Ha...! Didn't wait too long, did you? I was going to say you were honest and strong, but I think I'll add "impatient" to the list.
M. What, and rob me of the chance to tell the world how kind you really are once you get past the teasing? It won't be a very convincing statement if all you ever do is tease.
6 二人の出会いはいつ？どこで？
D. July 2011, at the good old G-L-O, right?
M. My first day, and I had to deal with you. It's a wonder I didn't quit.
7 相手の第一印象は？
D. Not gonna lie, Kitten, my first impression of you was definitely that you were one hot woman.
M. Considering the way you acted that day, if you'd lied I wouldn't believe you. I thought you were a total flirt.
D. Ha...! In the end, I suppose we were both right, weren't we, Kitten?
8 相手のどんなところが好き？
D. She's sweet and dedicated to the truth. ...And, she's one hot woman.
M. No matter what act he puts on, he really cares about people, honestly, from the bottom of his heart.
D. Hush, Kitten, you'll ruin my image and make me blush.
M. I thought red didn't exist in your world?
9 相手のどんなところが嫌い？
M. He flirts too much. He sometimes makes sexist remarks. And he still tends to be full of himself.
D. ...Ouch. No need to hesitate at all or anything, Mia.
M. These only annoy me a little bit. (laughing)
D. On the other hand, there's not really anything I don't like about my Kitten. ...Other than the fact that she's dead, and that's not her fault.
10 貴方と相手の相性はいいと思う？
M. ...Aaah, I wonder.
D. I don't know if our personalities are actually 'compatible' so much as we're simply 'together.'
M. And of course I'm dead, which does make a difference.
D. Yeah, that does put a damper on certain things.
11 相手のことを何て呼んでる？
D. "Mia" or "Kitten."
M. "Diego."
D. Come to think of it, you never really seemed to like the whole "Godot" thing.
M. ..........
D. Not that I blame you. That was a little... dramatic, even for me.
M. Diego is Diego. I don't know any "Godot."
12 相手に何て呼ばれたい？
D. Ha...! How about *censored*?
M. (without missing a beat) Not in public, Diego.
13 相手を動物に例えたら何？
M. (laughs) Do you want me to go first so you have some time to think of something, Diego?
D. (smirking) You'd better, Kitten, I don't know if I can come up with something so quickly.
M. Hmmm... let's see. Diego is... a lion.
D. That's all? Not going to say why?
M. Oh I think you know why.
D. My turn already, then. (pause) ...Nope, I've got nothing, Kitten.
14 相手にプレゼントをあげるとしたら何をあげる？
D. No offense, Mia, but it's kinda hard to shop for a ghost.
M. Shopping as a ghost isn't the simplest task, either.
15 プレゼントをもらうとしたら何がほしい？
D. At this point, just being able to see you is the best present I can receive.
M. I feel the same way. And I appreciate your caring for Maya.
D. ...Don't we sound like a pair of corny, tragic lovers.
M. Oh yes, we blow Romeo and Juliet right out of the water, when you think about it.
16 相手に対して不満はある？それはどんなこと？
D. Again... that you're dead. ...Sorry to keep harping on the fact.
M. No need to apologize. It's not like I could forget it.
D. ......
M. .......
D. Isn't it your turn?
M. I'm completely satisfied with you the way you are.
17 貴方の癖って何?
D. Drinking coffee. Speaking incomprehensibly.
M. I don't think I have any bad habits, actually...
18 相手の癖って何？
M. What he said. Those are my thoughts exactly.
D. I don't know if it counts as a habit, but her old tendency to lose confidence in herself. ...She's over that now, though, right, Kitten?
M. おかげで。
19 相手のすること（癖など）でされて嫌なことは?
D. Nothing in particular.
M. No, nothing I can think of either.
20 貴方のすること（癖など）で相手が怒ることは何？
D. ...。Didn't we just establish there was nothing?
M. We did. Next question.
21 二人はどこまでの関係？
D. Ha...!
M. *flips bangs*
22 二人の初デートはどこ？
D. Mia's apartment, right after her first trial.
M. ...That was a date?
D. Sure, why not?
M. I think you're using the term a little loosely.
23 その時の二人の雰囲気は?
M. I was heartbroken, and Diego was trying to help me.
D. Though perhaps a little more... forcefully than I should have.
24 その時どこまで進んだ？
D. I seem to remember being hit on the head with a bag of frozen burgers.
M. If you "seem" to remember, then perhaps Maya hit you harder than I thought.
25 よく行くデートスポットは？
M. It's Diego, where do you think? I had no idea there were so many cafes in this city.
D. Ha...! And I only take you to the good ones. Trust me, there are a bunch of bad ones, too.
M. Why would one city need so many coffee shops?
D. It's coffee, Kitten. You don't question it.
26 相手の誕生日。どう演出する？
M. I'm sure Maya will channel me for your birthday, Diego.
D. Ha...! And what about for yours?
M. It's not like I'm getting any older on my birthday anymore. ...Maybe she'll channel me on my death-day?
D. ..........。Do you mind, Kitten? I don't like thinking about that day.
M. Sorry.
27 告白はどちらから?
D. Oh I said it first. And Kitten didn't believe me.
M. I-it's your own fault! You flirt all the time anyway. I wasn't going to assume you were serious, not when you just blurted it out like that!
D. Ah, how we hurt others in our foolish pride.
M. I don't want to hear that coming from you, dearest.
28 相手のことを、どれくらい好き?
D. It's impossible to express without being completely sappy. And Mia knows how much I love her already, so I'm not going to bother.
M. Same here.
29 では、愛してる?
D. Absolutely. I love you, Mia.
M. I love you, too, Diego. And I always will, no matter what happens to either of us.
30 言われると弱い相手の一言は?
D. Ha...! She may not look it, but this girl can talk dirty like you wouldn't believe.
M. Diego, you are blowing my cover entirely.
D. I am? I seem to remember you fliriting with a dirty old man to get some information for Trite...
M. Oh, I can't believe Maya called me for that. ...As for Diego, he almost always talks dirty, so what really gets me is when he's completely sincere.
31 相手に浮気の疑惑が! どうする?
M. I'm dead. Diego's allowed to see whoever he likes, now.
D. Don't be ridiculous. I'll never love anyone else, Mia.
M. I won't either. The question of "cheating" is kind of moot at this point, I think.
32 浮気を許せる?
M. Of course I could forgive it. Like I said, I'm dead. If he falls in love with someone else--...hm.
D. Not so comfortable with the idea?
M. I suppose not.
D. It doesn't matter. Like I said, I'll never love another.
33 相手がデートに1時間遅れた! どうする?
D. If Mia didn't show up on time... I'd wonder if Maya had forgotten.
M. She does tend to be a bit scatterbrained. ...On the other hand, if Diego was an hour late, I would worry that a doctor's appointment was going later than expected, so I'd get very worried.
D. Is that really something to worry about? ...The end result would be good for the two of us.
M. Don't say that. You still have life left in you.
34 相手の身体の一部で一番好きなのはどこ?
D. Your eyes. ...I love them.
M. I love... oh, goodness. Every part of you.
D. The question asks for one part, Kitten.
M. Then... everything that you hide under that mask. Your eyes, your scar... You hid "Diego" under that mask, and now that I get to see that again... It gives me chills every time.
D. Ha...! I'm still not sure that counts as one part, but you get points for being poetic.
35 相手の色っぽい仕種ってどんなの?
M. That smile. I swear you could charm anyone with that smile.
D. (smiles)
M. o///o
D. Ha...! As for what Mia can do... that's my secret.
v Finish later
36 二人でいてドキっとするのはどんな時?
37 相手に嘘をつける? 嘘はうまい?
38 何をしている時が一番幸せ?
39 ケンカをしたことがある?
40 どんなケンカをするの?
41 どうやって仲直りするの?
42 生まれ変わっても恋人になりたい?
43 「愛されているなぁ」と感じるのはどんな時?
44 「もしかして愛されていないんじゃ・・・」と感じるのはどんな時?
45 貴方の愛の表現方法はどんなの?
46 もし死ぬなら相手より先がいい? 後がいい?
47 二人の間に隠し事はある?
48 貴方のコンプレックスは何?
49 二人の仲は周りの人に公認? 極秘?
50 二人の愛は永遠だと思う?
9.03.2008
Iroiro
First, to reiterate:
EDIT: Forced to switch the video. The first one disappeared.
I was listening to it today while writing a short thing for Intro to Fiction Writing. The prompt is "an amazingly expensive instrument in surprisingly humble setting" so I chose to write about this amazing sax player in a scuzzy, crowded jazz club. Maa, once I turn it in tomorrow (or after the workshop activity), perhaps I'll post it here?
But anyway. Yeah. Amazing song.
After that, I decided to ask my parents for the Orchestra 2008 CD for my birthday.
What else have I been up to? I've begun posting my PW fanfiction on ff.n. Charisma (one of my newer Miegos, their first meeting, involving much harassing from Diego) and Prosecutor (a conversation between Diego and Edgeworth), at the moment. I... hm. I could probably put up "What She Needed" (post 3-4) soon. I added the thing I wanted to add to the beginning... And then there's "A Toast" which is angsty and full of swearing, and I had to undo something I liked so that it flowed better, and then there's that thing right after 3-5 that I keep waffling on Mia's stance in it. ...No, but I mean, she said, "Hontou ni ii no ne? kenji-san"... and especially given his answer, that must have been what she was asking, so... ...right? Or have I been looking at it the wrong way this whole time... -sigh- You see why it hasn't been posted yet.
In other news... classes are going... well? I suppose. Except computer programming. UGH. I cannot even DESCRIBE how dull the professor is. And I mean it's on the computer! AND THE COMPUTERS HAVE GIMP AND PAINT.NET. Distraaaaaactiiiiiing.
EDIT: Forced to switch the video. The first one disappeared.
I was listening to it today while writing a short thing for Intro to Fiction Writing. The prompt is "an amazingly expensive instrument in surprisingly humble setting" so I chose to write about this amazing sax player in a scuzzy, crowded jazz club. Maa, once I turn it in tomorrow (or after the workshop activity), perhaps I'll post it here?
But anyway. Yeah. Amazing song.
After that, I decided to ask my parents for the Orchestra 2008 CD for my birthday.
What else have I been up to? I've begun posting my PW fanfiction on ff.n. Charisma (one of my newer Miegos, their first meeting, involving much harassing from Diego) and Prosecutor (a conversation between Diego and Edgeworth), at the moment. I... hm. I could probably put up "What She Needed" (post 3-4) soon. I added the thing I wanted to add to the beginning... And then there's "A Toast" which is angsty and full of swearing, and I had to undo something I liked so that it flowed better, and then there's that thing right after 3-5 that I keep waffling on Mia's stance in it. ...No, but I mean, she said, "Hontou ni ii no ne? kenji-san"... and especially given his answer, that must have been what she was asking, so... ...right? Or have I been looking at it the wrong way this whole time... -sigh- You see why it hasn't been posted yet.
In other news... classes are going... well? I suppose. Except computer programming. UGH. I cannot even DESCRIBE how dull the professor is. And I mean it's on the computer! AND THE COMPUTERS HAVE GIMP AND PAINT.NET. Distraaaaaactiiiiiing.
8.28.2008
Quiz Bowl!
Today was the first meeting of Quiz Bowl. We went through two packets. There are two types of packets--Academic packets and "TRASH" packets (Triva Recall... About Strange Happenings? I believe). TRASH packets are basically pop culture. There was an inordinate number of sports questions, though there was also a "Losing My Religion" question that I answered, and also one about tentacle rape.
Yes, you read that correctly; no, I'm not kidding.
And no, I didn't answer that one.
Toto, we're not in high school anymore.
But other than that episode of epic brain death (quite serious about that), and other than all the sports questions that just went over my head entirely, it was quite fun. It's a little mind-numbing though... the questions are really long, starting with the most obscure hints and ending with something fairly obvious, so when a question goes over your head, it just KEEPS GOING OVER YOUR HEAD FOR ABOUT THIRTY SECONDS. I mean at several points I just covered my ears because trying to understand some of those questions (particularly the science ones and the sports ones) was like trying to understand a foreign language.
Yes, you read that correctly; no, I'm not kidding.
And no, I didn't answer that one.
Toto, we're not in high school anymore.
But other than that episode of epic brain death (quite serious about that), and other than all the sports questions that just went over my head entirely, it was quite fun. It's a little mind-numbing though... the questions are really long, starting with the most obscure hints and ending with something fairly obvious, so when a question goes over your head, it just KEEPS GOING OVER YOUR HEAD FOR ABOUT THIRTY SECONDS. I mean at several points I just covered my ears because trying to understand some of those questions (particularly the science ones and the sports ones) was like trying to understand a foreign language.
8.26.2008
First anime club
But we didn't watch anime, we played games.
Game, rather.
Super Smash Bros. Brawl!
A biiiiig tournament. And I actually survived the first round. With dear Luca. Dear even though they had the audacity to take out Mewtwo and replace him with a fighting/steel Pokemon. How rude, really.
I chickened out of J-2 and I need to change my schedule more because World of Japan is likely to stop existing as well.
Had my first computer programming class today... the professor... is not much of a speaker. -_-; And, I know the advisor said it's okay to change just because you don't think you can listen to the professor all semester, but... I can't get used to that, and anyway my schedule's screwy enough as it issss. In any case I need to go see her (the advisor) tomorrow in order to iron out what I'll take instead of WoJ.
Game, rather.
Super Smash Bros. Brawl!
A biiiiig tournament. And I actually survived the first round. With dear Luca. Dear even though they had the audacity to take out Mewtwo and replace him with a fighting/steel Pokemon. How rude, really.
I chickened out of J-2 and I need to change my schedule more because World of Japan is likely to stop existing as well.
Had my first computer programming class today... the professor... is not much of a speaker. -_-; And, I know the advisor said it's okay to change just because you don't think you can listen to the professor all semester, but... I can't get used to that, and anyway my schedule's screwy enough as it issss. In any case I need to go see her (the advisor) tomorrow in order to iron out what I'll take instead of WoJ.
8.25.2008
So today was my first day of classes.
To iu yori... class.
There was no Japanese today, 'cause recitations aren't starting till after the first lecture, which is tomorrow. I did have lit class though, and it was pleasant. Also, before (annnnnnnnd during, but I SWEAR I paid attention, really, I discussed and everything) class, I sketched....... Jindal! He still exists! I haven't forgotten about him! And then I was writing text by him, in Japanese 'cause that's what I do, and I, oddly, decided that half of his words are randomly in katakana. For example:
ワルいケド、まえのコトはやっぱり、ウソだった。
("Sorry, but what I said before was a lie after all.") (Meh, "yappari" is a hard word to integrate. It's not really "after all" per se it's more like, "like you might have expected" but that makes for a clumsy sentence.)
You'll (who, exactly?) notice that he also doesn't use a kanji for "mae." I don't know the reasoning behind any of this... it's just kind of how it appeared to me.
He says "boku" and mainly "anta" or "anata."
There was no Japanese today, 'cause recitations aren't starting till after the first lecture, which is tomorrow. I did have lit class though, and it was pleasant. Also, before (annnnnnnnd during, but I SWEAR I paid attention, really, I discussed and everything) class, I sketched....... Jindal! He still exists! I haven't forgotten about him! And then I was writing text by him, in Japanese 'cause that's what I do, and I, oddly, decided that half of his words are randomly in katakana. For example:
ワルいケド、まえのコトはやっぱり、ウソだった。
("Sorry, but what I said before was a lie after all.") (Meh, "yappari" is a hard word to integrate. It's not really "after all" per se it's more like, "like you might have expected" but that makes for a clumsy sentence.)
You'll (who, exactly?) notice that he also doesn't use a kanji for "mae." I don't know the reasoning behind any of this... it's just kind of how it appeared to me.
He says "boku" and mainly "anta" or "anata."
8.20.2008
Well so far today has been FAIL.
The morning was nice enough, but I spent the whole day thinking it was Tuesday rather than Wednesday and just barely made it to the first required program of the day. -Karmabreak- I bought one of my Japanese books--the speaking one--AND THERE ARE NO KANA OR KANJI TO BE FOUND, IT IS ALL ROMANJI AND IT MAKES MY BRAIN ACHE. I mean different romanization style aside, it's simply annoying to read large paragraphs of text broken up by... exactly nothing. Sigh.
I did sample the cafeteria food. Not too bad, nothing to write home about, but the format fascinates (the poor naive) me. You slide your card and then you go in and eat. You can eat as many things as you want while you're in there. Even cake! There's cake. It's no lie. I have suddenly come to understand the freshman fifteen. (No, seriously, before I was like, but we're poor, how can we get fat? But now I get it!)
But anyway.
When I came back from the mandatory program, I tried to get into my room and the thing was like pssssssh no. So. I went down to talk to the security lady who got me on hold with Panter Central and that took like a half-hour. At one point we were actually talking to Panther Central but the guy must have accidentally hit hang up instead of hold, so we had to start over, and that was epic fail so I had to ask my RA. But anyway, now I'm in my room.
Though I'm a little frustrated. I was going to get my free/cheap software today and wound up not doing that. (Painter for $5? Um, yesplz.) Also, I was going to go to a program on Personal Student Finance, but it started while I was on hold with Panther Central, so here I am on Kage-chan. After the next two mandatory programs I might go to a social thing but I might be too tired. By then the place with the computer stuff will be closed. Grr.
I did sample the cafeteria food. Not too bad, nothing to write home about, but the format fascinates (the poor naive) me. You slide your card and then you go in and eat. You can eat as many things as you want while you're in there. Even cake! There's cake. It's no lie. I have suddenly come to understand the freshman fifteen. (No, seriously, before I was like, but we're poor, how can we get fat? But now I get it!)
But anyway.
When I came back from the mandatory program, I tried to get into my room and the thing was like pssssssh no. So. I went down to talk to the security lady who got me on hold with Panter Central and that took like a half-hour. At one point we were actually talking to Panther Central but the guy must have accidentally hit hang up instead of hold, so we had to start over, and that was epic fail so I had to ask my RA. But anyway, now I'm in my room.
Though I'm a little frustrated. I was going to get my free/cheap software today and wound up not doing that. (Painter for $5? Um, yesplz.) Also, I was going to go to a program on Personal Student Finance, but it started while I was on hold with Panther Central, so here I am on Kage-chan. After the next two mandatory programs I might go to a social thing but I might be too tired. By then the place with the computer stuff will be closed. Grr.
8.19.2008
Update and to-do list
So, I talked with the Japanese professor(s) yesterday and (naaaaaaaantoka) got into second year. It took a lot of work (mostly my father's). Now they've got me doubting myself, but... I'll recover, and I'll get better! (If you were wondering, Diego's rule does not work if I care sufficiently. Rita's Water Ice, however, helps.) Apparently..., I mess particles up. ...I can't help but think that that's only in speech?? At the very least I understand the difference between "de" and "ni." (...But... that I think I remember doing, and now that I think of it I remember learning that... x_x Come on, I get flustered talking even in English.)
It's all because it's speaking. Because I don't have much practice. So practice is what I'll need, and I'll get that no matter which Japanese I'm in, and I might as well go to J-2 (you are speaking in high-school mode.) so that I don't have to go over the super-basics again. x______________x
And besides! It's about time a Japanese class challenged me.
Other than that, I got registered for classes today! I was so lucky. I got the first appointment. HA! -mentalhappydance-
Japanese recitation, M-F 10-10:50
Japanese lecture, T & Th 11-12
Lectures in Literature, M 3-4:15 and W 4:30-5:45
World of Japan, T & Th 2:30-3:45
Introduction to Computer Programming, T & Th 6-7:15
Yeah! I can take computer programming instead of taking another math class! I get to learn Basic.
Also! They were hiding their Creative Writing major under the title "English Writing." So I can double major in Japanese and Creative Writing. I know, CW seems frivolous... it really does... but I'm going to be a translator, a translator. Of books, as soon as it's financially feasible. (By which I mean that I may have to do boring things for a while... unless I can convince TokyoPop or someone that I'd be useful... at least I wouldn't randomly change the order of chapters. Or screw up the important-to-plot romanization of a character's name, but that's Viz.) A degree in writing is useful for that. Yes? Yes.
Okay, so, to-do list:
Talk to financial aide office
Have credits transferred from senior-to-sophomore colleges. Iru no wa: geo, English (?), the music class
Work study
Possibly find another job
Buy books--SHOP AROUND, THEY'RE FREAKING EXPENSIVE
Ask someone if the exact copy is needed for literature classes
Start wearing sneakers... so my feet don't hurt.
SOCIALIZE, DANGIT
Add to this list as I remember more
Cross things off on this list as I complete them
Things to keep in mind during next registration session:
Where have my AP credits disappeared to?
Take Honors Shakespeare class (nwn)
Take Intro to Fiction Writing
Take philosophy, arts, or social science class
It's all because it's speaking. Because I don't have much practice. So practice is what I'll need, and I'll get that no matter which Japanese I'm in, and I might as well go to J-2 (you are speaking in high-school mode.) so that I don't have to go over the super-basics again. x______________x
And besides! It's about time a Japanese class challenged me.
Other than that, I got registered for classes today! I was so lucky. I got the first appointment. HA! -mentalhappydance-
Japanese recitation, M-F 10-10:50
Japanese lecture, T & Th 11-12
Lectures in Literature, M 3-4:15 and W 4:30-5:45
World of Japan, T & Th 2:30-3:45
Introduction to Computer Programming, T & Th 6-7:15
Yeah! I can take computer programming instead of taking another math class! I get to learn Basic.
Also! They were hiding their Creative Writing major under the title "English Writing." So I can double major in Japanese and Creative Writing. I know, CW seems frivolous... it really does... but I'm going to be a translator, a translator. Of books, as soon as it's financially feasible. (By which I mean that I may have to do boring things for a while... unless I can convince TokyoPop or someone that I'd be useful... at least I wouldn't randomly change the order of chapters. Or screw up the important-to-plot romanization of a character's name, but that's Viz.) A degree in writing is useful for that. Yes? Yes.
Okay, so, to-do list:
Talk to financial aide office
Have credits transferred from senior-to-sophomore colleges. Iru no wa: geo, English (?), the music class
Work study
Possibly find another job
Buy books--SHOP AROUND, THEY'RE FREAKING EXPENSIVE
Ask someone if the exact copy is needed for literature classes
Start wearing sneakers... so my feet don't hurt.
SOCIALIZE, DANGIT
Add to this list as I remember more
Cross things off on this list as I complete them
Things to keep in mind during next registration session:
Where have my AP credits disappeared to?
Take Honors Shakespeare class (nwn)
Take Intro to Fiction Writing
Take philosophy, arts, or social science class
8.17.2008
Soooo I guess I should blog.
I'm at college~
-happydance?-
All moved into my dorm and everything. It's a nice little room. I'm in the Honors College and going through their orientation right now... the orientation basically being a way for everyone to get to know each other. And guess what. I'M SOCIALIZING. ...When coerced. And occasionally when not. I actually went and played Ultimate Frisbee today. It was fun...ish. But before that! There are a lot of anime fans here, oddly. And I've found another intended Japanese major who has also--PLAYED PHOENIX WRIGHT. Win! Also, I've found a DN fan. 8D
But I suppose it's a little odd?
I think I'm the geek version of a tomboy, maybe. For some reason I wind up in conversations with guys more often than conversations with girls... About video games and such.
I heard that CD I ran to allow me to access the internet also allows "them" to watch my computer activity.
...
Hi,oniisama computer-watching people!
-happydance?-
All moved into my dorm and everything. It's a nice little room. I'm in the Honors College and going through their orientation right now... the orientation basically being a way for everyone to get to know each other. And guess what. I'M SOCIALIZING. ...When coerced. And occasionally when not. I actually went and played Ultimate Frisbee today. It was fun...ish. But before that! There are a lot of anime fans here, oddly. And I've found another intended Japanese major who has also--PLAYED PHOENIX WRIGHT. Win! Also, I've found a DN fan. 8D
But I suppose it's a little odd?
I think I'm the geek version of a tomboy, maybe. For some reason I wind up in conversations with guys more often than conversations with girls... About video games and such.
I heard that CD I ran to allow me to access the internet also allows "them" to watch my computer activity.
...
Hi,
7.26.2008
I found a survey.
I'm so obsessed with these things.
Hey! Listen! Yesterday I ordered GS3! Hurray.
Anyway.
SIX PAIRINGS I LIKE :
1. Mia/Diego
2. Halle/Mello
3. Seto/Isis
4. Irene/Gen
5. Phoenix/Maya
6. Link/Midna
THREE SHIPS I'VE ABANDONED:
7. Medli/Komali (Very quickly)
8. Franziska/Edgeworth
9. Link/Ilia
THREE SHIPS I'VE NEVER LIKED:
10. Link/Shad (WTH)
11. Light/L
12. Malik/Yami Malik
TWO SHIPS THAT HAVE PIQUED MY INTEREST:
13. Phoenix/Iris
14. Apollo/Vera
1. Why do you dislike #11 so much?
When Light's not trying to kill L, he's ticked off because L thinks he's Kira and he doesn't know it's true at the time. Meanwhile, L always thinks Light is Kira. Not really the best circumstances for a relationship, as far as I'm concerned....
2. Who do you know that ships #13?
No one personally... Their thread is very active though. Active-er than TRAGIC. T__T
3. What would be your ideal scenario for couple #3?
Oh so long ago. Hm. "Unsaid."
4. What is your favorite moment for #1?
I've answered this question already, in the KamiChihi questions~.
5. How long have you been following couple #6?
Ahhhmm... Since halfway through TP, I think. Like as soon as we found out for sure that she really wasn't evil. XD
6. What's the story with #8? What made you stop caring?
I really think they are more brother and sister. Oh. The thing that made me stop caring was the fact that he came to live with them when she was two, that specifically. Her perceptions of "family" wouldn't have been fully formed by then, probably, so she really would think of him as a brother.
7. Which ship do you prefer--#2 or #4?
Oh that's hard. Hm. Hmmm. Irene x Gen for the longer timeframe.
8. You have the power to make one ship non-existent. Choose from #10 or #12.
Hrm... I just find Link/Shad really repulsive. Maybe because Shad irritates the crap out of me and I can't see the attraction of it. (I can see what... some people would like about MYM.)
9. What interests you about #14?
Wheee, Apollo's reaction to meeting her was so cute. And I need some ships for that game.
10. When did you stop liking #7?
Ack. When I found out that Medli wasn't trapped in theSacred Cavern temple place and they could easily meet. What's the point of supporting a couple that's easy?
11. Did your waning interest in #9 kill your interest in the series?
Nope, 'cause I left it for Link x Midna.
12. What's a song that reminds you of #5?
Please don't ask me that, I'm not actually supposed to be shipping it anymore.
13. Which of these ships do you love the most right now?
Miego Miego Miego Miego Miego Miego...
14. Which do you dislike the most?
Link/Shad, Light/L, Yami Malik/Malik
15. If you could have any of these pairings double date, who would they be?
...Would it be a terrible thing to send Phoenix x Iris and channeled!Mia x Godot out together? Ohhh yes I think it would, but that would make me lol.
16. Have #2 kissed yet? Elaborate if yes.
Liiiike in the series? No.
17. Did #4 have a happy ending? Do you think one is likely?
Ha...! The most clear-cut of the ones I support. Yes.
18. What would make you start shipping #14?
More art of it, or if Vera appeared in GS5. (If she doesn't, I'll probably drop it.)
19. If only one could happen, which would you prefer--#2 or #6?
Oh, gosh. Ohhh. Ahhh. Ummm... 2 on the condition that it wouldn't mess up the 28th, and if it would, 6, on the condition that wouldn't screw up the world... ahhhh....
20. You have the power to decide the fate of #10. What happens to them?
Umm... they never speak again? (Shad REALLY irritates me.)
------
Also, I've been meaning to do one of these for AA characters.
1. Phoenix
2. Edgeworth
3. Maya
4. Mia
5. Franziska
6. Pearls
7. Diego
8. Dahlia
9. Kristoph
10. Apollo
11. Trucy
12. Engarde
Have you read a 6/11 fic? Do you want to?
Pearls/Trucy
Not as like, a relationship, but I think they should be friends!
Do you think 4 is hot? How hot?
Mia
I believe I've already mentioned how I feel about her chest size.
What would happen if 12 got 8 pregnant?
Engarde/Dahlia
Oh they so deserve each other. ...The child would be screwed for life, but they so deserve each other. New Hellshipping! (DahliaxKristoph's still better though, they're the same age.)
Can you read any fic(s) about 9?
Kristoph
Doubt it. I hate that guy.
Would 2 and 6 make a good couple?
Edgeworth/Pearls
...SICK AND WRONG. Also, have they ever spoken?
5/9 or 5/10? Why?
Franziska/Kristoph or Franziska/Apollo
Hrm. Well I believe that Franziska's basically a good person, so Apollo, but... meh.
What would happen if 7 walked in on 2 and 12 having sex?
"What would happen if Diego walked in on Edgeworth and Engard having sex?"
...Oh that idea just broke my brain. I suspect he'd walk out again.
Make up a summary for a 3/10 fic.
Maya/Apollo
:o! Th-that... might not actually be too bad.
Like she could glomp him after 4-1 or something.
Is there any such thing as 1/8 fluff?
Phoenix/Dahlia
Only when told from a clueless "Feenie"'s perspective...
Suggest a title for a 7/12 hurt/comfort fic
Diego/Engarde
No.
Does anyone on your friends list read 7 slash?
Diego
No friends of mine play much PW... also, I don't think any of my friends read slash either. So no.
Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11?
Trucy
Nope...
Would anyone on your friends list write 2/4/5?
Edgeworth/Mia/Franziska
Doubt it.
What might 10 scream out at a moment of great passion?
Apollo
I don't know why I even bother to leave this one on. I never answer it. (Well, except for the time when ten was Mikami, and that's because it's obvious. xP)
If you write a songfic about 8, which song would you choose?
Dahlia
Ahhhn, well "Molasses" suits Iris->Dahlia very well.
If you wrote a 1/6/12 fic, what would the warnings be?
Phoenix/Pearls/Engarde
WILL MAKE YOUR BRAIN DIE. ALSO, PEDOPHILIA.
What might a good pick-up line for 2 to use on 10?
Edgeworth/Apollo
Double-yu tee eff dee. ...Something in a foreign language, perhaps? (He is, apparently, still abroad...)
When was the last time you read a fic about 5?
Franziska
I don't think I've read any. ...She was in one I was writing though...
What is 6's super-secret kink?
Pearls
THE GIRL IS EIGHT!
Would 11 shag 9? Drunk or sober?
Trucy/Kristoph
OH SO WRONG. SO VERY, VERY WRONG, IN SO MANY WAYS.
In other words, NO!
If 3 and 7 get together who tops?
Maya/Diego
Oh, my. Um. I think my resolution was to NOT GO THERE. *rubs temples*
1 and 9 are in a happy relationship until 9 suddenly runs off with 4. 1, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with 11 and a brief, unhappy affair with 12, then follows the wise advice of 5 and finds true love with 3." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
"Phoenix and Kristoph are in a happy relationship until Kristoph suddenly runs off with Mia. Phoenix, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Trucy and a brief, unhappy affair with Engarde, then follows the wise advice of Franziska and finds true love with Maya."
Name of fic: "The most complicated Phaya you'll ever read. Ever."
Who would read it? ...Only the last clause is readable. The rest is disgusting. Disgusting. Absolutely... ugh.
Who should write it? No one. Please. Unless it's the last clause. ...I like the last clause.
How would you feel if 7/8 was canon?
Diego/Dahlia
...Terribly confused. And heartbroken. But mostly confused.
(Though, I have seen a few very pretty pictures of it. *MUG'D*)
Who would make a better college professor: 6, or 11?
Pearls or Trucy?
Hmmm... I dunno.
Do you think 2 is hot? How hot?
Edgeworth
Eh... not... particularly.
12 sends 8 on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?
Engarde sends Dahlia on a mission
Again with Hellshipping(2). It's probably to kill Wright. And she's like lol ok but no, it doesn't, because Mia pwns her. >:C (...Timeframe fail...)
Wait! No! I've got it. He wants her to poison Corrida. So apparently it failed. (And then Mia pwns her.)
What would 5 most likely be arrested for?
Franziska
Whipped someone to death. :P
If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8?
Diego or Dahlia
Um, gee. Lemme think.
Hey! Listen! Yesterday I ordered GS3! Hurray.
Anyway.
SIX PAIRINGS I LIKE :
1. Mia/Diego
2. Halle/Mello
3. Seto/Isis
4. Irene/Gen
5. Phoenix/Maya
6. Link/Midna
THREE SHIPS I'VE ABANDONED:
7. Medli/Komali (Very quickly)
8. Franziska/Edgeworth
9. Link/Ilia
THREE SHIPS I'VE NEVER LIKED:
10. Link/Shad (WTH)
11. Light/L
12. Malik/Yami Malik
TWO SHIPS THAT HAVE PIQUED MY INTEREST:
13. Phoenix/Iris
14. Apollo/Vera
1. Why do you dislike #11 so much?
When Light's not trying to kill L, he's ticked off because L thinks he's Kira and he doesn't know it's true at the time. Meanwhile, L always thinks Light is Kira. Not really the best circumstances for a relationship, as far as I'm concerned....
2. Who do you know that ships #13?
No one personally... Their thread is very active though. Active-er than TRAGIC. T__T
3. What would be your ideal scenario for couple #3?
Oh so long ago. Hm. "Unsaid."
4. What is your favorite moment for #1?
I've answered this question already, in the KamiChihi questions~.
5. How long have you been following couple #6?
Ahhhmm... Since halfway through TP, I think. Like as soon as we found out for sure that she really wasn't evil. XD
6. What's the story with #8? What made you stop caring?
I really think they are more brother and sister. Oh. The thing that made me stop caring was the fact that he came to live with them when she was two, that specifically. Her perceptions of "family" wouldn't have been fully formed by then, probably, so she really would think of him as a brother.
7. Which ship do you prefer--#2 or #4?
Oh that's hard. Hm. Hmmm. Irene x Gen for the longer timeframe.
8. You have the power to make one ship non-existent. Choose from #10 or #12.
Hrm... I just find Link/Shad really repulsive. Maybe because Shad irritates the crap out of me and I can't see the attraction of it. (I can see what... some people would like about MYM.)
9. What interests you about #14?
Wheee, Apollo's reaction to meeting her was so cute. And I need some ships for that game.
10. When did you stop liking #7?
Ack. When I found out that Medli wasn't trapped in the
11. Did your waning interest in #9 kill your interest in the series?
Nope, 'cause I left it for Link x Midna.
12. What's a song that reminds you of #5?
Please don't ask me that, I'm not actually supposed to be shipping it anymore.
13. Which of these ships do you love the most right now?
Miego Miego Miego Miego Miego Miego...
14. Which do you dislike the most?
Link/Shad, Light/L, Yami Malik/Malik
15. If you could have any of these pairings double date, who would they be?
...Would it be a terrible thing to send Phoenix x Iris and channeled!Mia x Godot out together? Ohhh yes I think it would, but that would make me lol.
16. Have #2 kissed yet? Elaborate if yes.
Liiiike in the series? No.
17. Did #4 have a happy ending? Do you think one is likely?
Ha...! The most clear-cut of the ones I support. Yes.
18. What would make you start shipping #14?
More art of it, or if Vera appeared in GS5. (If she doesn't, I'll probably drop it.)
19. If only one could happen, which would you prefer--#2 or #6?
Oh, gosh. Ohhh. Ahhh. Ummm... 2 on the condition that it wouldn't mess up the 28th, and if it would, 6, on the condition that wouldn't screw up the world... ahhhh....
20. You have the power to decide the fate of #10. What happens to them?
Umm... they never speak again? (Shad REALLY irritates me.)
------
Also, I've been meaning to do one of these for AA characters.
1. Phoenix
2. Edgeworth
3. Maya
4. Mia
5. Franziska
6. Pearls
7. Diego
8. Dahlia
9. Kristoph
10. Apollo
11. Trucy
12. Engarde
Have you read a 6/11 fic? Do you want to?
Pearls/Trucy
Not as like, a relationship, but I think they should be friends!
Do you think 4 is hot? How hot?
Mia
I believe I've already mentioned how I feel about her chest size.
What would happen if 12 got 8 pregnant?
Engarde/Dahlia
Oh they so deserve each other. ...The child would be screwed for life, but they so deserve each other. New Hellshipping! (DahliaxKristoph's still better though, they're the same age.)
Can you read any fic(s) about 9?
Kristoph
Doubt it. I hate that guy.
Would 2 and 6 make a good couple?
Edgeworth/Pearls
...SICK AND WRONG. Also, have they ever spoken?
5/9 or 5/10? Why?
Franziska/Kristoph or Franziska/Apollo
Hrm. Well I believe that Franziska's basically a good person, so Apollo, but... meh.
What would happen if 7 walked in on 2 and 12 having sex?
"What would happen if Diego walked in on Edgeworth and Engard having sex?"
...Oh that idea just broke my brain. I suspect he'd walk out again.
Make up a summary for a 3/10 fic.
Maya/Apollo
:o! Th-that... might not actually be too bad.
Like she could glomp him after 4-1 or something.
Is there any such thing as 1/8 fluff?
Phoenix/Dahlia
Only when told from a clueless "Feenie"'s perspective...
Suggest a title for a 7/12 hurt/comfort fic
Diego/Engarde
No.
Does anyone on your friends list read 7 slash?
Diego
No friends of mine play much PW... also, I don't think any of my friends read slash either. So no.
Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11?
Trucy
Nope...
Would anyone on your friends list write 2/4/5?
Edgeworth/Mia/Franziska
Doubt it.
What might 10 scream out at a moment of great passion?
Apollo
I don't know why I even bother to leave this one on. I never answer it. (Well, except for the time when ten was Mikami, and that's because it's obvious. xP)
If you write a songfic about 8, which song would you choose?
Dahlia
Ahhhn, well "Molasses" suits Iris->Dahlia very well.
If you wrote a 1/6/12 fic, what would the warnings be?
Phoenix/Pearls/Engarde
WILL MAKE YOUR BRAIN DIE. ALSO, PEDOPHILIA.
What might a good pick-up line for 2 to use on 10?
Edgeworth/Apollo
Double-yu tee eff dee. ...Something in a foreign language, perhaps? (He is, apparently, still abroad...)
When was the last time you read a fic about 5?
Franziska
I don't think I've read any. ...She was in one I was writing though...
What is 6's super-secret kink?
Pearls
THE GIRL IS EIGHT!
Would 11 shag 9? Drunk or sober?
Trucy/Kristoph
OH SO WRONG. SO VERY, VERY WRONG, IN SO MANY WAYS.
In other words, NO!
If 3 and 7 get together who tops?
Maya/Diego
Oh, my. Um. I think my resolution was to NOT GO THERE. *rubs temples*
1 and 9 are in a happy relationship until 9 suddenly runs off with 4. 1, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with 11 and a brief, unhappy affair with 12, then follows the wise advice of 5 and finds true love with 3." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
"Phoenix and Kristoph are in a happy relationship until Kristoph suddenly runs off with Mia. Phoenix, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Trucy and a brief, unhappy affair with Engarde, then follows the wise advice of Franziska and finds true love with Maya."
Name of fic: "The most complicated Phaya you'll ever read. Ever."
Who would read it? ...Only the last clause is readable. The rest is disgusting. Disgusting. Absolutely... ugh.
Who should write it? No one. Please. Unless it's the last clause. ...I like the last clause.
How would you feel if 7/8 was canon?
Diego/Dahlia
...Terribly confused. And heartbroken. But mostly confused.
(Though, I have seen a few very pretty pictures of it. *MUG'D*)
Who would make a better college professor: 6, or 11?
Pearls or Trucy?
Hmmm... I dunno.
Do you think 2 is hot? How hot?
Edgeworth
Eh... not... particularly.
12 sends 8 on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?
Engarde sends Dahlia on a mission
Again with Hellshipping(2). It's probably to kill Wright. And she's like lol ok but no, it doesn't, because Mia pwns her. >:C (...Timeframe fail...)
Wait! No! I've got it. He wants her to poison Corrida. So apparently it failed. (And then Mia pwns her.)
What would 5 most likely be arrested for?
Franziska
Whipped someone to death. :P
If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8?
Diego or Dahlia
Um, gee. Lemme think.
7.24.2008
Nobody told me 'bout days like these.
Title stolen from Klav. (Stealing from a prosecutor. I'm BRILLIANT.) Kind of a melodramatic one, but I did want to make it into an icon once, with his angsty hands-in-pockets pose. But then the file corrupted. :C
In the morning I failed my driver's test, in the evening I cleaned freezers that to all appearances DID NOT WANT TO BE CLEAN, and in the middle... well the middle was pleasant at least... You know, the usual CR stuff.
Whatever.
I'm fine about the driver's test... I didn't really expect to pass (lol, pessimism) and I just do. Not. Feel. Comfortable. Driving. Yet. Anyway right after the test I told myself I couldn't cry till it was over! and the fact that that worked means that I am a FANGIRL (and an illogical one because I am neither a man [Japanese] nor a lawyer [English]) but we all knew that already.
In the morning I failed my driver's test, in the evening I cleaned freezers that to all appearances DID NOT WANT TO BE CLEAN, and in the middle... well the middle was pleasant at least... You know, the usual CR stuff.
Whatever.
I'm fine about the driver's test... I didn't really expect to pass (lol, pessimism) and I just do. Not. Feel. Comfortable. Driving. Yet. Anyway right after the test I told myself I couldn't cry till it was over! and the fact that that worked means that I am a FANGIRL (and an illogical one because I am neither a man [Japanese] nor a lawyer [English]) but we all knew that already.
7.22.2008
....
"Oh, only ten minutes left~!
"That'd only be five times through DwynM.
"...OKAY! :D"
Only wound up being 3 1/2, though, 'cause I got distracted a few times.
"That'd only be five times through DwynM.
"...OKAY! :D"
Only wound up being 3 1/2, though, 'cause I got distracted a few times.
Random GodoChihi thing... in Japanese!
Why's it in Japanese...?
I'm not sure. There isn't even a "senpai" in sight... Hmm...
But you know, it's... kind of different, in Japanese. At least, the way Chihiro talks to Kaminogi would have to be different from how Mia talks to Diego, because he's a) male b) older and c) her senpai, even if she does (?) stop calling him "Senpai"...... I really want to confirm that. ;^; From the way Japanese fans write about it..., I'm thinking that she calls him "Kaminogi-san" in the same place she calls him "Diego" in English, but that's only a guess, and I haven't actually taken the steps necessary to obtain the Japanese version yet... But anyway, look! It's still hislast family name, and with "san" and everything. That's kind of my point. If I have one... Do I?
Well, without further ado!
神乃木さんに、幸せになってほしいんです。 だから生きて、その命を楽しんで下さい。そして、もし… いつか…
ん? 何だい? コネコちゃん。 声が変わったんだ。
いつか、他の女と愛にでもなったら…
それはねぇのさ。
神乃木さん…
オレが愛してるのは、チヒロ アンタだけだぜ。
私は死んでいますよ…神乃木さん。
わかってるぜ。 だがな,オレもいずれ死ぬだろ? それからオレら二人、またー緒になれる。…そのときを,待ってるんだぜ。
…死を待つだけの命で、うれしいですか。
………
うれしくないでしょぅ。
…オレは、この命にうれしさがいらねぇんだ。むしろ、うれしさを見つからねぇ、それでいい。
そんな事を…! そんな事を,言わないで下さいよ…神乃木さん。
チヒロ…
教えて下さい! …神乃木さん。
何だい? コネコちゃん。
本当に、あの命にうれしさを見つかりませんの? それとも, ただ…探したくないのでしょうか…
…本当に見つからねぇだろうな。 チヒロのいない世界に、うれしさはどこにもねぇんだからな。
……っ
泣くなよ…チヒロ。
ごめんなさい。 勝手でごめんなさい。でも私は本当に…、必死に,神乃木さんに死んでほしくありません。
チヒロ…
四年も待ってて、それから死んでしまって…、すごく悲しかったときは、やはりありました。でもあの法廷に,神乃木さんの顔を見たと、とてもうれしかったんです。「生きた、生きている!」と,心の中から叫びましたんです。そして今、それを無理にする…、と、勝手な気持ちです。 …バカバカしいね,私は。昔,「神乃木さんが起きる場合は「いい」」と 「起きない、または死ぬ,場合は「悪い」」ことに決まったんです。そして今でも,そんな気持ちをバカバカしく、勝手に、持っています。
…コネコちゃん。正直に、訊ねていいな?
はい。
オレが死んだら、アンタは悲しくなるのか。
…勝手ですよ, 私は…。
コネコちゃん。正直な質問に,正直な答えをさ。 …そいつは、オレのルールだぜ。
…神乃木さんが死んだら… はい、とても悲しくなります。 …ごめんなさい…
じゃあ、こいつは間単だよ? コネコちゃんにまた悲しくならさせるなんて、絶対ダメだぜ。 オレは、これからも生きるんだ…チヒロ。
I'm not sure. There isn't even a "senpai" in sight... Hmm...
But you know, it's... kind of different, in Japanese. At least, the way Chihiro talks to Kaminogi would have to be different from how Mia talks to Diego, because he's a) male b) older and c) her senpai, even if she does (?) stop calling him "Senpai"...... I really want to confirm that. ;^; From the way Japanese fans write about it..., I'm thinking that she calls him "Kaminogi-san" in the same place she calls him "Diego" in English, but that's only a guess, and I haven't actually taken the steps necessary to obtain the Japanese version yet... But anyway, look! It's still his
Well, without further ado!
神乃木さんに、幸せになってほしいんです。 だから生きて、その命を楽しんで下さい。そして、もし… いつか…
ん? 何だい? コネコちゃん。 声が変わったんだ。
いつか、他の女と愛にでもなったら…
それはねぇのさ。
神乃木さん…
オレが愛してるのは、チヒロ アンタだけだぜ。
私は死んでいますよ…神乃木さん。
わかってるぜ。 だがな,オレもいずれ死ぬだろ? それからオレら二人、またー緒になれる。…そのときを,待ってるんだぜ。
…死を待つだけの命で、うれしいですか。
………
うれしくないでしょぅ。
…オレは、この命にうれしさがいらねぇんだ。むしろ、うれしさを見つからねぇ、それでいい。
そんな事を…! そんな事を,言わないで下さいよ…神乃木さん。
チヒロ…
教えて下さい! …神乃木さん。
何だい? コネコちゃん。
本当に、あの命にうれしさを見つかりませんの? それとも, ただ…探したくないのでしょうか…
…本当に見つからねぇだろうな。 チヒロのいない世界に、うれしさはどこにもねぇんだからな。
……っ
泣くなよ…チヒロ。
ごめんなさい。 勝手でごめんなさい。でも私は本当に…、必死に,神乃木さんに死んでほしくありません。
チヒロ…
四年も待ってて、それから死んでしまって…、すごく悲しかったときは、やはりありました。でもあの法廷に,神乃木さんの顔を見たと、とてもうれしかったんです。「生きた、生きている!」と,心の中から叫びましたんです。そして今、それを無理にする…、と、勝手な気持ちです。 …バカバカしいね,私は。昔,「神乃木さんが起きる場合は「いい」」と 「起きない、または死ぬ,場合は「悪い」」ことに決まったんです。そして今でも,そんな気持ちをバカバカしく、勝手に、持っています。
…コネコちゃん。正直に、訊ねていいな?
はい。
オレが死んだら、アンタは悲しくなるのか。
…勝手ですよ, 私は…。
コネコちゃん。正直な質問に,正直な答えをさ。 …そいつは、オレのルールだぜ。
…神乃木さんが死んだら… はい、とても悲しくなります。 …ごめんなさい…
じゃあ、こいつは間単だよ? コネコちゃんにまた悲しくならさせるなんて、絶対ダメだぜ。 オレは、これからも生きるんだ…チヒロ。
7.16.2008
Pointless entry ahead
I'm serious, this is such a Yanda entry.
I just wanted to say that I spent the last twenty minutes of work whistling "Don't want you no More."
Why?
Well here's how it happened.
About twenty minutes before work ended, I looked at the clock and noticed that there were twenty minutes left. (I sense redundancy here...) I thought, Hmm, do I have any mental playlists that I know are just about twenty minutes long? Umm... I don't think so.
Oh, but I could whistle DwynM ten times and it would wind up being just about twenty minutes.
...
So I did. :D
In other news, I've been going to a computer camp in the mornings! With R.B. And today we assembled computers, and since a) R.B. was right next to me telling me what to do, b) mine came assembled and I had to disassemble it first, and c) I didn't really understand the finer points of what exactly I was doing, I had fun. It was like a puzzle. And then R.B. and I programmed a robot to move forward, pick up a ball, turn around, and move back to where it started, and we won things for it! Big things! I won a digital camera (yaaaaaaaaaaay, finally!) and he won an 8GB USB stick.
S'pose that's all.
Oh but in other other news, I am so bad at drawing hands. -dies- I have this picture of Franziska all planned out (whennnnn she figures out how 1-4's gonna end), but I can't get hands to resemble hands.
Grr.
Ohh!! I nearly forgot. The other day I had the single most convoluted thought process ever, and I'm not kidding. It was about a comic on Yaminomi (loooooovethatsite: -やみのみ-) where Grossberg and Diego are discussing their ages except in Japanese years and all that complicated stuff, and then they turn to Mia and Grossberg asks, "When were you born, Mia? Showa year..."
And she answers, "The first year of the Heisei era. :D"
Of course, this is just me translating this all out now; I wasn't sure to begin with, and when I started to figure it out, I wasn't sure I was getting it right, but then I checked my thoughts this way:
Oh, right, isn't that when Sayu was born? I remember 'cause that was all easy to remember and stuff. And Sayu's the same age as Mello, who's the same age as me, and I was born in the same year as Mia. So yeah, that is what she's saying.
...
OVERLYCONVOLUTED.
You'd think I'd have the sense to remember that 1989 is the first year of Heisei.
I just wanted to say that I spent the last twenty minutes of work whistling "Don't want you no More."
Why?
Well here's how it happened.
About twenty minutes before work ended, I looked at the clock and noticed that there were twenty minutes left. (I sense redundancy here...) I thought, Hmm, do I have any mental playlists that I know are just about twenty minutes long? Umm... I don't think so.
Oh, but I could whistle DwynM ten times and it would wind up being just about twenty minutes.
...
So I did. :D
In other news, I've been going to a computer camp in the mornings! With R.B. And today we assembled computers, and since a) R.B. was right next to me telling me what to do, b) mine came assembled and I had to disassemble it first, and c) I didn't really understand the finer points of what exactly I was doing, I had fun. It was like a puzzle. And then R.B. and I programmed a robot to move forward, pick up a ball, turn around, and move back to where it started, and we won things for it! Big things! I won a digital camera (yaaaaaaaaaaay, finally!) and he won an 8GB USB stick.
S'pose that's all.
Oh but in other other news, I am so bad at drawing hands. -dies- I have this picture of Franziska all planned out (whennnnn she figures out how 1-4's gonna end), but I can't get hands to resemble hands.
Grr.
Ohh!! I nearly forgot. The other day I had the single most convoluted thought process ever, and I'm not kidding. It was about a comic on Yaminomi (loooooovethatsite: -やみのみ-) where Grossberg and Diego are discussing their ages except in Japanese years and all that complicated stuff, and then they turn to Mia and Grossberg asks, "When were you born, Mia? Showa year..."
And she answers, "The first year of the Heisei era. :D"
Of course, this is just me translating this all out now; I wasn't sure to begin with, and when I started to figure it out, I wasn't sure I was getting it right, but then I checked my thoughts this way:
Oh, right, isn't that when Sayu was born? I remember 'cause that was all easy to remember and stuff. And Sayu's the same age as Mello, who's the same age as me, and I was born in the same year as Mia. So yeah, that is what she's saying.
...
OVERLYCONVOLUTED.
You'd think I'd have the sense to remember that 1989 is the first year of Heisei.
7.10.2008
Dump
Just thought I'd show you a few things I've been working on, now that I have my tablet, Vera. (And her pen, Aria. ...Why yes, it IS short for Ariadoney, and yes, I DO NEED A LIFE.)
AND YES, IT'S ALL GYAKUSAI STUFF 'CAUSE I'M A GYAKUTARD, THX
Tanzaku
It's a GodoChihi thing, don't get too excited. Inspired by this official "Snapshot."
Minuki
Yes, Minuki. I don't know why, but my tendency to call AJ characters by their Japanese names is even stronger than that of PW characters. (....eeeeeeexcluding Kaminogi&Chihiro, for obvious reasons.)
WIP - GodoChihi kiss
Mia's eventually gonna be transparent...
Franziska von Karma (tegaki)
Maya, Master of Kurain (tegaki)
I wanted to draw her with a master symbol tattoo. Sorry for the nekkid.
...No, but it's not a spoiler, right? I mean when you learn there's a master you learn Maya's next in line, and when you first see that symbol you learn what it means.... right?
WIP - Maskless Godot - SPOILER
[clicky?]
Errr chiisai kedo yappa netabare desu. u.u; Oh! But I like drawing him without his mask so much better. His colors coordinate better, for one...
AND YES, IT'S ALL GYAKUSAI STUFF 'CAUSE I'M A GYAKUTARD, THX
Tanzaku
It's a GodoChihi thing, don't get too excited. Inspired by this official "Snapshot."
Minuki
Yes, Minuki. I don't know why, but my tendency to call AJ characters by their Japanese names is even stronger than that of PW characters. (....eeeeeeexcluding Kaminogi&Chihiro, for obvious reasons.)
WIP - GodoChihi kiss
Mia's eventually gonna be transparent...
Franziska von Karma (tegaki)
Maya, Master of Kurain (tegaki)
I wanted to draw her with a master symbol tattoo. Sorry for the nekkid.
...No, but it's not a spoiler, right? I mean when you learn there's a master you learn Maya's next in line, and when you first see that symbol you learn what it means.... right?
WIP - Maskless Godot - SPOILER
[clicky?]
![[clicky?]](http://i303.photobucket.com/albums/nn151/WallofIllusion/masklessGodot.png){kind=link}
Errr chiisai kedo yappa netabare desu. u.u; Oh! But I like drawing him without his mask so much better. His colors coordinate better, for one...
7.07.2008
Today may be that day.
The day that I think seriously and decide what I think happened to Godot. (I mean I've already decided no on NaruMayo and incredibly unlikely on MitsuMei...)
BIG FREAKING SPOILERS AHEAD, NOT KIDDING.
AND NOW IT'S IN COLOR. SO PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE IGNORE IT IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED!
There are basically three options:
*Death penalty
*Dies some other way (generally suggested that it's suicide by refusing to have his body tuned up or w/e)
*Still alive
The fact remains that I really don't want him to die.
But this is supposed to be logical, not based on my emotions. . :/ I have to get around stubbornly insisting that he's still alive simply because I want him to be.
First of all, I don't think it's likely that he got the death penalty. I just don't. Whether or not it was his true motivation, a lawyer could build a case around the idea that he acted in Maya's defense. I believe Phoenix would be motivated enough to do so. That of course is assuming Godot would let him... Which is something I've had serious trouble with in the past. (In planning fanfiction, to ka...) Mostly because of how guilty he feels, and, I think, because I realize how little he has left to live for... wah. (I don't like where this is going.)
Option two... suicide/death by lack of maintainence.
Let me first say something that has been TICKINGMEOFF.
NO ONE SEEMS TO NOTICE THAT THE WHOLE "REGULAR CHECKUP" THING WAS. A. LIE.
I'm not necessarily saying he doesn't need monthly tune-ups; I'm just saying that what he told Wright should not be automatically taken as the truth because he. Was. Lying. He was not in the hospital having a check-up. He was in a storeroom where it was very cold.
There are a few other things that are wrong with that conversation as well. Godot did not die when he was poisoned. During the trial, he doesn't even speak like he thinks of it as having "died"--he repeatedly refers to it as "sleeping." [fangirl]Andgoshthatmakesmewanttogivehimabighugandmakehimfeelbetter.[/fangirl] Therefore his organs, while they would possibly need to be "adjusted," would not need to be "regenerated." What I'm saying is that several statements in that conversation were exaggerated.
I'm just saying not to treat lies like the absolute truth. DX
(Furthermore, when you present Godot's profile to Gumshoe immediately after, you get into a conversation about how it's strange that the police don't know about his medical situation... further implying that what he said was exaggerated.)
So that's my schpeal about that. It just frustrates me that no one ever seems to notice that.
Um... other than that.
The question is, does Godot want to die...?
There's... virtually no reason he shouldn't. ;_;
If his two reasons to live were to see what kind of man Phoenix is and to protect Maya... -_-;;; And then there's the further fact that Mia's dead, and if by dying he could be with her again... In other words, someone would have to give him a new reason to live very quickly or it would be hopeless. Of course, if Mia would tell him that she'd rather he lived on... Then he probably would. But then the question becomes, would she want that...? This is something I can't decide...
Okay, I asked SYL for help.
(Am I getting off-topic?)
(What does it matter? It's my blog. Off-topic is what I do.)
So..., if they talked... if Mia told him that she wanted him to live on, I think he would. I'm almost certain he would.
But is it proper to answer the question of "Does Godot die?" with "Well, if he and Mia talk..."? ...
If I accept that he would want to die if it weren't for that, can't it be fine? I think, for now, I can be satisfied with that.
BIG FREAKING SPOILERS AHEAD, NOT KIDDING.
AND NOW IT'S IN COLOR. SO PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE IGNORE IT IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED!
There are basically three options:
*Death penalty
*Dies some other way (generally suggested that it's suicide by refusing to have his body tuned up or w/e)
*Still alive
The fact remains that I really don't want him to die.
But this is supposed to be logical, not based on my emotions. . :/ I have to get around stubbornly insisting that he's still alive simply because I want him to be.
First of all, I don't think it's likely that he got the death penalty. I just don't. Whether or not it was his true motivation, a lawyer could build a case around the idea that he acted in Maya's defense. I believe Phoenix would be motivated enough to do so. That of course is assuming Godot would let him... Which is something I've had serious trouble with in the past. (In planning fanfiction, to ka...) Mostly because of how guilty he feels, and, I think, because I realize how little he has left to live for... wah. (I don't like where this is going.)
Option two... suicide/death by lack of maintainence.
Let me first say something that has been TICKINGMEOFF.
NO ONE SEEMS TO NOTICE THAT THE WHOLE "REGULAR CHECKUP" THING WAS. A. LIE.
I'm not necessarily saying he doesn't need monthly tune-ups; I'm just saying that what he told Wright should not be automatically taken as the truth because he. Was. Lying. He was not in the hospital having a check-up. He was in a storeroom where it was very cold.
There are a few other things that are wrong with that conversation as well. Godot did not die when he was poisoned. During the trial, he doesn't even speak like he thinks of it as having "died"--he repeatedly refers to it as "sleeping." [fangirl]Andgoshthatmakesmewanttogivehimabighugandmakehimfeelbetter.[/fangirl] Therefore his organs, while they would possibly need to be "adjusted," would not need to be "regenerated." What I'm saying is that several statements in that conversation were exaggerated.
I'm just saying not to treat lies like the absolute truth. DX
(Furthermore, when you present Godot's profile to Gumshoe immediately after, you get into a conversation about how it's strange that the police don't know about his medical situation... further implying that what he said was exaggerated.)
So that's my schpeal about that. It just frustrates me that no one ever seems to notice that.
Um... other than that.
The question is, does Godot want to die...?
There's... virtually no reason he shouldn't. ;_;
If his two reasons to live were to see what kind of man Phoenix is and to protect Maya... -_-;;; And then there's the further fact that Mia's dead, and if by dying he could be with her again... In other words, someone would have to give him a new reason to live very quickly or it would be hopeless. Of course, if Mia would tell him that she'd rather he lived on... Then he probably would. But then the question becomes, would she want that...? This is something I can't decide...
Okay, I asked SYL for help.
WallofIllusion: Hey, I have a really random question. It's really strange.Say you were a ghostand your lover was still alivebut he was in bad shape, and he had no reason to live anymoreAnd you knew that if he died, you could be with him again...Would you want him to keep living? Or would you want him to die?starburst19: if he's suffering...hmm... it depends on how bad it isWallofIllusion: It's not that he's sufferingIt's more likeHe suffered an accident in the past, and his body needs regular tune-ups, but he's not suffering physically.Emotionally, at the moment, though...he's struggling with extreme guilt.starburst19: well, i would want him to continue living until he finds his way out of that guilt and find a new reason to liveWallofIllusion: Okay see that's what I'm thinking!I'm glad you think so too.starburst19: hahaha great minds think alike. -- that was clichebut that's all i gotlol!WallofIllusion: No it's fine.I just wanted to make sure my own "GAH I DON'T WANT HIM TO DIIIIIIIIE" opinions weren't corrupting my perception of the ghost's feelings.
Because I really think Mia would want him to work through it. Even though she's a spirit medium... even if spirits can meet in the afterlife... I honestly cannot see her saying that she'd prefer he was dead. Maybe it's my own perception of death vs. life that's making me feel that way... because when I write Godot-just-woke-up-and-wants-to-die fanfiction, he asks what makes life, especially a life like his, so much better than death, and I never really have an answer for him...
(Am I getting off-topic?)
(What does it matter? It's my blog. Off-topic is what I do.)
So..., if they talked... if Mia told him that she wanted him to live on, I think he would. I'm almost certain he would.
But is it proper to answer the question of "Does Godot die?" with "Well, if he and Mia talk..."? ...
If I accept that he would want to die if it weren't for that, can't it be fine? I think, for now, I can be satisfied with that.
7.03.2008
I want to do these, like, now.
But I have to write thank-you notes... OTL
(So I'm saying, "Hold it!" for now. I'll be back later to translate & answer them.)
Esentially, "50 questions for those who like KamiChihi." (KamiChihi being Miego.)
1, まずあなたのハンドルネームをどうぞ。
First, your username.
>"WallofIllusion."
2, 逆転裁判はいつ頃からのファンですか？
Since when have you been an Ace Attorney fan?
>Just checked this--I started playing the first one on 4/09 this year.
3, カミチヒを知ったのはいつですか？
When did you learn of KamiChihi?
>When I first played through 3-1. 5/28.
4, では、本格的にカミチヒにはまったのは？
So, when did you first seriously get into KamiChihi?
>Ahmm... Sometime between 3-4 and 3-5? I was all hyper when Diego was flirting in 3-4, but then I looked at his profile and I was like, "...Rival? Wut? Datte datte---"
5, ゲーム中で「これはカミチヒだ！」と感じたセリフやシーンは？
What are some lines and scenes in the game that you felt were KamiChihi?
>3-2, Godot's reaction to seeing Mia. That was a big one. I keep wishing it weren't near the end of the case. And when you think about it, Godot's entire motivation is KamiChihi, so... And all of 3-1 basically. That case has the greatest replay value ever for that specific reason.
Oh! Oh! And "Is it really okay, Mr. Prosecutor?" / "Of course it is, Madame Attorney." KYAAA! I love that part. It's so sweet and aaaaaaaas;dvna;
6, 神乃木とチヒロ、どっちが好き？（％で答えて下さい）
Between Kaminogi (Armando) and Chihiro (Mia), which do you like more? (Answer with percentages, please.)
>75% Diego/Godot, 25% Mia. I blame her breast size for this, I really do.
7, 二人は恋人同士？
Was it a mutual love?
>Absolutely yes! Though Mia makes it difficult to tell sometimes. ;~; She's a lot harder to read about it than Diego is.
8, 神乃木はチヒロをどう思ってる？
What does Diego think of Mia?
>(She has potential... and she has the right heart for this. Though she could stand to be a little less excitable...)
9, チヒロは神乃木をどう思ってる？
What does Mia think of Diego?
>(For a lawyer, he's awfully... ridiculous. The amount of coffee he drinks, and the way he talks... ...But he really does know what he's doing.)
10, ズヴァリ！二人はどこまでの関係？
Zvarri! How deeply are the two connected?
>Wouldn't it be cute if he was thinking about asking her to marry him? ;~;
(I'm not sure that that's what they're actually asking, but, um... sore wa mada kimatteinai shi...)
11, 愛を告白するとしたら、どちらからするでしょう？
Which one do you think would confess their love first?
>Hmmm... Diego, first, I think.
12, また、そのときの言葉は？
What do they say at that time?
They're in the middle of researching or whatever, and for whatever reason Diego suddenly and quite seriously says, "I love you, Mia." She's surprised and embarrassed so she treats it as a joke at first, but then later she confesses her love too. At ohanami. (Ohanami nara, Chihiro to Kaminogi darou?)
13, 二人きりのとき、神乃木はチヒロを何て呼ぶ？
When the two are alone, what does Diego call Mia?
>Right after 3-4 he kind of lets the "Kitten" thing die down a little and calls her "Mia" so it's clear he respects her, but once they start going out he starts calling her "Kitten" again, both as an endearment and in teasing. So it basically winds up 50% "Kitten," 50% "Mia."
14, 同じく二人きりのとき、チヒロは神乃木を何て呼ぶ？
In the same way, when the two are alone, what does Mia call Diego?
>This question is much more fun in Japanese. XP Um, "Mr. Armando" for a while, then "Diego" once they get to know each other.
15, 神乃木から見て、チヒロの好きなところはどんなところ？
What does Diego like about Mia?
>(She's beautiful, intelligent, determined... she has a beautiful heart that still holds onto innocence even despite what she's been through.)
16, チヒロから見て、神乃木の好きなところはどんなところ？
What does Chihiro like about Diego?
>(He's overwhelmingly strong and supportive, and surprisingly kind when you get past all of his joking. He clearly loves life.)
17, 神乃木とチヒロ、どちらの方が立場が強い？
Of Diego and Mia, which one is in a stronger position?
>I'm not entirely sure what this question is asking, but... probably Diego. He generally seems more sure of himself.
18, 二人はラブラブ？それともケンカが絶えないほう？
Are the two madly in love? Or do they often argue?
>I'd say they bicker playfully, but definitely labulabu. x3
19, チヒロはコーヒーが飲める？むしろ好き？
Can Mia drink coffee? Does she like it?
>She seems like more of a tea person to me, though I suspect she drinks coffee to appease Diego sometimes. :P And sneaks cream and sugar in when he's not looking.
20, あなたは神乃木のどこが好きですか？
What do you like about Diego?
>He's angsty and cool-looking and has one heck of an attitude. xD
21, あなたはチヒロのどこが好きですか？
What do you like about Mia?
>Hn. Well, I like her as a mentor and she's pretty, but... all in all not my favorite character.
22, チヒロが里を出た時期は不明ですが、二人が出逢ったのはいつ頃だと思いますか？
It's unclear when Mia left her village, but when do you think the two first met?
>I think they first met when Mia got a job at Grossberg Law Offices. [I have a fanfiction thought out for this, so the next two answers will depend on that.]
23, 神乃木が見た、チヒロの第一印象はどんなものだった？
What was Diego's first impression of Mia when he saw her?
>(Whoa, she's a cute one. ...And a fighter, apparently.)
24, チヒロが見た、神乃木の第一印象はどんなものだった？
What was Mia's first impression of Diego when she saw him?
>(Is this nosy flirt actually a lawyer? -///-; )
25, 神乃木はチヒロの過去（霊媒師・ＤＬ６号事件など）を知っていた？
Does Diego know about Mia's past (about her being a spirit medium and the DL-6 case, etc.)?
>I definitely think so. I mean, he didn't seem at all incredulous about 3-5 or anything...
26, カミチヒを邪魔するライバルはいますか？それは誰？
Are there any rivals to KamiChihi? Who?
>I don't think there are~ :D Oh, but, I think that Phoenix may have had a crush on Mia at one point. (You know... just in case Godot needed ANOTHER reason to hate him, right?)
27, ゴドー×チヒロはありだと思いますか？
Do you think there's any Godot x Mia?
>...I... think so. I mean, it's clear that he's still hopelessly, breathlessly in love with her. Again, she's harder to read... And her "serious" sprites look so severe. D: But I can imagine her (channeled by Maya, probably) going to the detention center and leaning her forehead against the glass in order to be as close to him as possible as they talk... -daydreams-
28, 神乃木がチヒロにプレゼント！さて何をあげた？
Diego gives Mia a present! What is it?
>Special coffee he made just for her! With flavoring since I don't think she'd like it black. Or some jewelry.
29, チヒロが神乃木にプレゼント！さて何をあげた？
Mia gives Diego a present! What is it?
>Hmm, a coffee mug? Or she could have given him that silver ring... Diego's left hand isn't visible in any of his sprites, so it's possible. xD
30, デートするなら、どこへ行くでしょう？
Where would they go on a date?
>They seem like they'd be happy just walking around and talking, or they could stop at a cafe...
31, そのときのデートプランやスケジュールは？
>Do they have plans or schedules for those dates?
Nah, they're spontaneous.
32, 二人がケンカしました。原因は？
The two of them have a fight. What's the reason?
>Diego's teasing too much. :P
33, そのときどちらが先に謝るでしょう？
Who apologizes first?
>Diego, of course.
34, バレンタインデー！チヒロはどうする？
Valentine's Day! What does Mia do?
>Umm, that's out of the time range... Chihiro would give obligation chocolate since she works with him, but that's probably about it.
35, バレンタインデー！神乃木の様子は？
Valentine's Day? What's Diego like?
>Maybe he's a bit disappointed?
36, 浮気するとしたら、どっちが？
Which of them would be unfaithful?
>What a terrible question. D: Neither!
37, そのときの相手（カミorチヒ)の反応はどうでしょう？
At that time, how would the other (Diego or Mia) react?
>Uwa. D: ;~;
Diego: "Hey, Kitten, why would you do something like that?" (very hurt, trying to hide it and failing)
Mia: "...If that's how it is, then fine. Good-bye." (And they'd break up. T__T)
38, チヒロが手料理を作った！どんな味？神乃木の反応は？
Mia makes some home cooking! What's it like? What's Diego's reaction?
>Hm, some traditional Japanese food perhaps? And Diego doesn't normally have Japanese food, so he's a little wary at first, but he thinks it's delicious. ^^
39, とっておきの服に着替えた神乃木。どんな格好をしている？
Diego changes into some special clothes that he has set aside. What's he wearing?
>A nice black suit. It's really hard to imagine him in anything other than that... (Oh, I suppose that's not true, I have seen some very pretty pictures of him in kimono...)
40, 同じくとっておきに着替えたチヒロ。どんな格好をしている？
Similarly, Mia changes into some special clothes. What's she wearing?
>A pretty kimono!
41, お互いの「とっておき」を見た二人の反応は？
What are their reactions to the other's "special clothes"?
>Mia: "*blush* You look... incredible. (Practically the poster boy for "suave.")"
Diego: "You too, Kitten. Like a Japanese princess."
42, 神乃木とチヒロ、あなたがなるとしたらどっちになりたい？
If you were to become Diego or Mia, which would you want to become?
>Eh? Um... Mia? (Though, in terms of the Phoenix Wright cast, I think I'd prefer to turn into someone who doesn't get thunk'd or poisoned...)
43, もしなれたとしたら、何をしますか？
And if you did, what would you do?
>Er... go to Diego and try to head off 3-5 before it starts. o.o
44, 神乃木さん、チヒロに対して「こうして欲しいぜ」という要望があればどうぞ。
What sort of "I want you to do this" requests might Diego have for Mia?
>"Try not to get so flustered all the time. It's pretty cute, but it's not professional."
45, チヒロさん、神乃木センパイに対して「こうしてください」という要望があればどうぞ。
What sort of "Please do this," requests might Mia have for Diego?
>"Please try to act a little more responsible." "Please stop drinking so much coffee... have a little concern for your health!"
46, これだけは譲れない！カミチヒに対するこだわりや設定があればどうぞ。
This is the only thing I can't give up! Share anything you're picky about or obsessed with about the couple.
>I prefer serious couple pictures to overly cute ones... They're both quite mature, after all. And the angstier the better.
47, もしもこんなだったら……と思うことはありますか？
Do you have any "What if"s?
>Mochiron desu yo? (Translation: Well, obviously?) If Diego hadn't been poisoned, if Mia had still been alive when he woke up... Though, I rarely actually wander down that mental path because... it's not canon. (orz) There's... another thing... that's really weird.... But, if like, a branch-Fey was tired of being herself and offered to channel Mia perpetually...... but then things could get dramatic if she's actually an evil person and channels Dahlia instead and it's all dangerous and stuff OTL;;;;;;; I have weird ideas in my brain. Eep, so dramatic though!
48, カミチヒのテーマソングがあれば教えてください。
Do you have a "KamiChihi Theme Song"? Do tell.
>Hmm, The Hush Sound's "Don't Wake Me Up" is always good for that sort of thing, and Alice Nine.'s "FANTASY." I actually really like "FANTASY" for them. "Iro wo nakushi..."
49, カミチヒのココが好き！というところを教えてください。
What do you like about KamiChihi?
Canon&Impossible&Cute! Perfect for me. Also, I've found that I prefer mature romances to teenybopper cute ones. (Or overly cute ones that aren't necessarily teenybopper, but the participants are immature. Present: RonDessie. THEY'RE BOTH GOOFS. -_-)
50, お疲れ様でした！最後に世界の中心でカミチヒを叫んでください！
...I'm not actually sure what the question part of this question is...
(So I'm saying, "Hold it!" for now. I'll be back later to translate & answer them.)
Esentially, "50 questions for those who like KamiChihi." (KamiChihi being Miego.)
1, まずあなたのハンドルネームをどうぞ。
First, your username.
>"WallofIllusion."
2, 逆転裁判はいつ頃からのファンですか？
Since when have you been an Ace Attorney fan?
>Just checked this--I started playing the first one on 4/09 this year.
3, カミチヒを知ったのはいつですか？
When did you learn of KamiChihi?
>When I first played through 3-1. 5/28.
4, では、本格的にカミチヒにはまったのは？
So, when did you first seriously get into KamiChihi?
>Ahmm... Sometime between 3-4 and 3-5? I was all hyper when Diego was flirting in 3-4, but then I looked at his profile and I was like, "...Rival? Wut? Datte datte---"
5, ゲーム中で「これはカミチヒだ！」と感じたセリフやシーンは？
What are some lines and scenes in the game that you felt were KamiChihi?
>3-2, Godot's reaction to seeing Mia. That was a big one. I keep wishing it weren't near the end of the case. And when you think about it, Godot's entire motivation is KamiChihi, so... And all of 3-1 basically. That case has the greatest replay value ever for that specific reason.
Oh! Oh! And "Is it really okay, Mr. Prosecutor?" / "Of course it is, Madame Attorney." KYAAA! I love that part. It's so sweet and aaaaaaaas;dvna;
6, 神乃木とチヒロ、どっちが好き？（％で答えて下さい）
Between Kaminogi (Armando) and Chihiro (Mia), which do you like more? (Answer with percentages, please.)
>75% Diego/Godot, 25% Mia. I blame her breast size for this, I really do.
7, 二人は恋人同士？
Was it a mutual love?
>Absolutely yes! Though Mia makes it difficult to tell sometimes. ;~; She's a lot harder to read about it than Diego is.
8, 神乃木はチヒロをどう思ってる？
What does Diego think of Mia?
>(She has potential... and she has the right heart for this. Though she could stand to be a little less excitable...)
9, チヒロは神乃木をどう思ってる？
What does Mia think of Diego?
>(For a lawyer, he's awfully... ridiculous. The amount of coffee he drinks, and the way he talks... ...But he really does know what he's doing.)
10, ズヴァリ！二人はどこまでの関係？
Zvarri! How deeply are the two connected?
>Wouldn't it be cute if he was thinking about asking her to marry him? ;~;
(I'm not sure that that's what they're actually asking, but, um... sore wa mada kimatteinai shi...)
11, 愛を告白するとしたら、どちらからするでしょう？
Which one do you think would confess their love first?
>Hmmm... Diego, first, I think.
12, また、そのときの言葉は？
What do they say at that time?
They're in the middle of researching or whatever, and for whatever reason Diego suddenly and quite seriously says, "I love you, Mia." She's surprised and embarrassed so she treats it as a joke at first, but then later she confesses her love too. At ohanami. (Ohanami nara, Chihiro to Kaminogi darou?)
13, 二人きりのとき、神乃木はチヒロを何て呼ぶ？
When the two are alone, what does Diego call Mia?
>Right after 3-4 he kind of lets the "Kitten" thing die down a little and calls her "Mia" so it's clear he respects her, but once they start going out he starts calling her "Kitten" again, both as an endearment and in teasing. So it basically winds up 50% "Kitten," 50% "Mia."
14, 同じく二人きりのとき、チヒロは神乃木を何て呼ぶ？
In the same way, when the two are alone, what does Mia call Diego?
>This question is much more fun in Japanese. XP Um, "Mr. Armando" for a while, then "Diego" once they get to know each other.
15, 神乃木から見て、チヒロの好きなところはどんなところ？
What does Diego like about Mia?
>(She's beautiful, intelligent, determined... she has a beautiful heart that still holds onto innocence even despite what she's been through.)
16, チヒロから見て、神乃木の好きなところはどんなところ？
What does Chihiro like about Diego?
>(He's overwhelmingly strong and supportive, and surprisingly kind when you get past all of his joking. He clearly loves life.)
17, 神乃木とチヒロ、どちらの方が立場が強い？
Of Diego and Mia, which one is in a stronger position?
>I'm not entirely sure what this question is asking, but... probably Diego. He generally seems more sure of himself.
18, 二人はラブラブ？それともケンカが絶えないほう？
Are the two madly in love? Or do they often argue?
>I'd say they bicker playfully, but definitely labulabu. x3
19, チヒロはコーヒーが飲める？むしろ好き？
Can Mia drink coffee? Does she like it?
>She seems like more of a tea person to me, though I suspect she drinks coffee to appease Diego sometimes. :P And sneaks cream and sugar in when he's not looking.
20, あなたは神乃木のどこが好きですか？
What do you like about Diego?
>He's angsty and cool-looking and has one heck of an attitude. xD
21, あなたはチヒロのどこが好きですか？
What do you like about Mia?
>Hn. Well, I like her as a mentor and she's pretty, but... all in all not my favorite character.
22, チヒロが里を出た時期は不明ですが、二人が出逢ったのはいつ頃だと思いますか？
It's unclear when Mia left her village, but when do you think the two first met?
>I think they first met when Mia got a job at Grossberg Law Offices. [I have a fanfiction thought out for this, so the next two answers will depend on that.]
23, 神乃木が見た、チヒロの第一印象はどんなものだった？
What was Diego's first impression of Mia when he saw her?
>(Whoa, she's a cute one. ...And a fighter, apparently.)
24, チヒロが見た、神乃木の第一印象はどんなものだった？
What was Mia's first impression of Diego when she saw him?
>(Is this nosy flirt actually a lawyer? -///-; )
25, 神乃木はチヒロの過去（霊媒師・ＤＬ６号事件など）を知っていた？
Does Diego know about Mia's past (about her being a spirit medium and the DL-6 case, etc.)?
>I definitely think so. I mean, he didn't seem at all incredulous about 3-5 or anything...
26, カミチヒを邪魔するライバルはいますか？それは誰？
Are there any rivals to KamiChihi? Who?
>I don't think there are~ :D Oh, but, I think that Phoenix may have had a crush on Mia at one point. (You know... just in case Godot needed ANOTHER reason to hate him, right?)
27, ゴドー×チヒロはありだと思いますか？
Do you think there's any Godot x Mia?
>...I... think so. I mean, it's clear that he's still hopelessly, breathlessly in love with her. Again, she's harder to read... And her "serious" sprites look so severe. D: But I can imagine her (channeled by Maya, probably) going to the detention center and leaning her forehead against the glass in order to be as close to him as possible as they talk... -daydreams-
28, 神乃木がチヒロにプレゼント！さて何をあげた？
Diego gives Mia a present! What is it?
>Special coffee he made just for her! With flavoring since I don't think she'd like it black. Or some jewelry.
29, チヒロが神乃木にプレゼント！さて何をあげた？
Mia gives Diego a present! What is it?
>Hmm, a coffee mug? Or she could have given him that silver ring... Diego's left hand isn't visible in any of his sprites, so it's possible. xD
30, デートするなら、どこへ行くでしょう？
Where would they go on a date?
>They seem like they'd be happy just walking around and talking, or they could stop at a cafe...
31, そのときのデートプランやスケジュールは？
>Do they have plans or schedules for those dates?
Nah, they're spontaneous.
32, 二人がケンカしました。原因は？
The two of them have a fight. What's the reason?
>Diego's teasing too much. :P
33, そのときどちらが先に謝るでしょう？
Who apologizes first?
>Diego, of course.
34, バレンタインデー！チヒロはどうする？
Valentine's Day! What does Mia do?
>Umm, that's out of the time range... Chihiro would give obligation chocolate since she works with him, but that's probably about it.
35, バレンタインデー！神乃木の様子は？
Valentine's Day? What's Diego like?
>Maybe he's a bit disappointed?
36, 浮気するとしたら、どっちが？
Which of them would be unfaithful?
>What a terrible question. D: Neither!
37, そのときの相手（カミorチヒ)の反応はどうでしょう？
At that time, how would the other (Diego or Mia) react?
>Uwa. D: ;~;
Diego: "Hey, Kitten, why would you do something like that?" (very hurt, trying to hide it and failing)
Mia: "...If that's how it is, then fine. Good-bye." (And they'd break up. T__T)
38, チヒロが手料理を作った！どんな味？神乃木の反応は？
Mia makes some home cooking! What's it like? What's Diego's reaction?
>Hm, some traditional Japanese food perhaps? And Diego doesn't normally have Japanese food, so he's a little wary at first, but he thinks it's delicious. ^^
39, とっておきの服に着替えた神乃木。どんな格好をしている？
Diego changes into some special clothes that he has set aside. What's he wearing?
>A nice black suit. It's really hard to imagine him in anything other than that... (Oh, I suppose that's not true, I have seen some very pretty pictures of him in kimono...)
40, 同じくとっておきに着替えたチヒロ。どんな格好をしている？
Similarly, Mia changes into some special clothes. What's she wearing?
>A pretty kimono!
41, お互いの「とっておき」を見た二人の反応は？
What are their reactions to the other's "special clothes"?
>Mia: "*blush* You look... incredible. (Practically the poster boy for "suave.")"
Diego: "You too, Kitten. Like a Japanese princess."
42, 神乃木とチヒロ、あなたがなるとしたらどっちになりたい？
If you were to become Diego or Mia, which would you want to become?
>Eh? Um... Mia? (Though, in terms of the Phoenix Wright cast, I think I'd prefer to turn into someone who doesn't get thunk'd or poisoned...)
43, もしなれたとしたら、何をしますか？
And if you did, what would you do?
>Er... go to Diego and try to head off 3-5 before it starts. o.o
44, 神乃木さん、チヒロに対して「こうして欲しいぜ」という要望があればどうぞ。
What sort of "I want you to do this" requests might Diego have for Mia?
>"Try not to get so flustered all the time. It's pretty cute, but it's not professional."
45, チヒロさん、神乃木センパイに対して「こうしてください」という要望があればどうぞ。
What sort of "Please do this," requests might Mia have for Diego?
>"Please try to act a little more responsible." "Please stop drinking so much coffee... have a little concern for your health!"
46, これだけは譲れない！カミチヒに対するこだわりや設定があればどうぞ。
This is the only thing I can't give up! Share anything you're picky about or obsessed with about the couple.
>I prefer serious couple pictures to overly cute ones... They're both quite mature, after all. And the angstier the better.
47, もしもこんなだったら……と思うことはありますか？
Do you have any "What if"s?
>Mochiron desu yo? (Translation: Well, obviously?) If Diego hadn't been poisoned, if Mia had still been alive when he woke up... Though, I rarely actually wander down that mental path because... it's not canon. (orz) There's... another thing... that's really weird.... But, if like, a branch-Fey was tired of being herself and offered to channel Mia perpetually...... but then things could get dramatic if she's actually an evil person and channels Dahlia instead and it's all dangerous and stuff OTL;;;;;;; I have weird ideas in my brain. Eep, so dramatic though!
48, カミチヒのテーマソングがあれば教えてください。
Do you have a "KamiChihi Theme Song"? Do tell.
>Hmm, The Hush Sound's "Don't Wake Me Up" is always good for that sort of thing, and Alice Nine.'s "FANTASY." I actually really like "FANTASY" for them. "Iro wo nakushi..."
49, カミチヒのココが好き！というところを教えてください。
What do you like about KamiChihi?
Canon&Impossible&Cute! Perfect for me. Also, I've found that I prefer mature romances to teenybopper cute ones. (Or overly cute ones that aren't necessarily teenybopper, but the participants are immature. Present: RonDessie. THEY'RE BOTH GOOFS. -_-)
50, お疲れ様でした！最後に世界の中心でカミチヒを叫んでください！
...I'm not actually sure what the question part of this question is...
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