You have no idea how frustrating it is. I cannot play with my lower jaw back. I can't. Nothing comes out. And when something does come out, I usually find that--whoops!--my lower jaw has decided that it needs to be in front. IT DOES NOT. IT IS FOOLING ITSELF. Perhaps it thinks it is fooling me as well, but it is WRONG about that.
Fortunately Mom was away while I was attempting. Yes, this is fortunate. She feels the need to encourage me. NO, it did not sound good. NO, I am not getting better. And she's always always bugging me to practice. Look, if I show an unwillingness to try it's because I'm FREAKING TIRED OF FAILING. I used to be able to do this. This isn't fair. If I'm using the correct embouchure now, why isn't playing EASIER?! That doesn't make SENSE!
If it weren't for the fact that my parents got me a new, shiny, expensive flute two Christmases ago, I would have given up already. Dangit. "He said, 'If she wants to go professional, this flute will not hold her back,'" my dad told me. Where did you get the feeling I wanted to go professional? I don't. It's a hobby. It's a fun hobby, but I'm simply not that good. All right?! I'm thoroughly mediocre. Thoroughly. Just good enough to stumble along in flute choir. (This is just as frustrating as my parents' persistant habit of getting me drawing stuff for stocking stuffers/small birthday presents. Look, I like to draw, but I have no intention whatsoever of going professional with that, either. I don't use pens like that and am not motivated to try.)
Whenever I
But of course you don't think that's a ridiculous fear; this blog is only seen by my friends, who will understand-kureru.
I took a little break and feel a little better now. Don't feel like describing what I've been doing though, so I'll just tell you that today I figured out the TP song "Don't want you no More" in almost-entirety. It is incredibly fun to play, besides being a beautiful song. Yesyes, lessthan3.
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